Njal

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Revision as of 15:33, 27 April 2005 by Erin (Talk | contribs) (Njal, a man's man, reduced to statue fodder)

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Njal was born in Norway and when he realized he was much taller than other men, he lived an ideallic existence of lifting heavy objects and sparring for money until one day a cleric named Wirschen came to town, looking for his estranged father.

Wirschen couldn't speak Norse, but Njal, who had travelled briefly on an arm wrestling championship world-tour could speak German and Russian in addition to Norse. Wirschen hired Njal as a translator and strongman, and they became good friends.

When traveling in Russia Wirschen and Njal met the party - along with strongman Jannish, whom Njal liked best of the party. Jannish gave up his life saving Njal from a shambling mound.

Njal found his early days in the party particularly difficult. Although his only real adventuring skill was his strength, other members of the party - particularly Gunther, continued to insist on opening every stinking door in every dungeon. Njal began to feel like some kind of girl, always having doors opened for him. He also felt less manly when, perhaps because his player couldn't roll a single 20, Njal couldn't hit the broad side of a barn until well after he'd leveled a couple of times. It's a fact: Njal never hit anything for six months.

When Njal finally improved and could hit monsters 7 times out of 10 and wield a fine great sword, he quickly found that although no one ever gave him a magic weapon about 90% of the monsters the party encountered could ONLY BE HARMED BY MAGICAL WEAPONS. Again, Njal felt like less of a man, even though his life, pre-Wirschen, had been making a living off his manhood.

Eventually Njal grew tired of adventuring. He was a good man and the party was turning evil. Many of the characters he cared about were lost, dead, or retired. Wirschen had been kidnapped and turned to stone and torn asunder and no longer acted as Njal's employer.

Fearing that the giant statues chasing the party were coming after Njal next, he decided to retire to a more peaceful life as a library guard in Constantinople.

Only one week after Njal's retirement the giant statues showed up and stopped just beyond the walls of Constantinople. Njal was called before Patriarch, who had caught onto the fact that the statues were after Njal. To find Njal's innocence or guilt, the Patriarch made Njal fight A FRICKING SABERTOOTH TIGER!!!

It was a tough battle, but Njal KO'ed the tiger, even as Njal himself passed out. The Patriarch was unsure what to do in this case - he'd never had a tie before in his wild-cat-pit. Njal was given time to recover from his wounds.

Eventually Eorl, Wirschen, and Lucretious returned to town and two of the three of them fought and killed one of the giant statues. The other statue departed. Njal was given an order from the Patriarch not to leave Constantinople, and not to go near the docks.

I would like to say "...and this is the last we hear of Njal," but as Njal yet lives, his saga may not be at an end.