How Do You Get to Avalon? PRACTICE.
Well, you can't plan a wedding in a day, right? All told, prep for, execution of, and recovery from Karl Shinyhand's triumphant remarriage takes the Danger Gang two weeks. Whilst Zombres itches to get on the road to Avalon already, the rest of the crew is glad to have the time off, and follow their own ideas of productivity (Kolya indulges in vodka and house music, Marcella hangs out in the library having texts read to her and learns the Greek alphabet, a skill she henceforth shows off at the slightest opportunity). On March 18, they bid a fond farewell-for-the-nonce to Mr. Shinyhands, who's chosen to remain in Chrysopolis for a while to spend more time with his newly reunited family. A tear is shed--but then a cheer is raised, for Arben decides to come out of retirement and head forth for ADVENTURE!!!
Herewith ADVENTURE: Dropping off priest-of-Garl Fizzlewink in Switzerland, the DG heads west on fast horses but is quickly brought up short by a strange sight in the depths of the Black Forest: five elves being handily bested by a single kobold. Some magically induced BUT STILL PERFECTLY VALID friendly feeling later, they learn said kobold is Rokenak the Fireproof, perhaps the greatest kobold warrior in existence (or second greatest, as he tells of one Kormenak who rules over a kingdom of ladies in Estonia). As he seems more or less a decent sort, he is summarily packed off with a letter of introduction to Chrysopolis; whereupon, grieving the death of one of the elves in the fray, the DG asks to be taken to the oldest elf in the forest--the Elder King--to inquire about the provenance and owner's manual for the elven Rod of Resurrection stolen by Shulgi. In exchange for bringing the elves' fallen comrade back to life, they receive the command word!! ('Tis "nuquerna." Obviously.)
Taking up the reins again, following a brief stop in the Burgundian settlement of Vosantio, the DG ride north towards the Channel--again, their swift steeds enable them to bypass three unpleasant-looking warrior wraiths by the side of the road and to stomp through a group of brigands, en route to a bucolic night in a hayloft. In the middle of the night, however, they are awakened by a new friend, a cracking-voiced youngster named Henry, eager for details of the DG's hack of a Masonic dungeon in Albania. Several suspicious questions later, they learn that the lad is heir to the duchy of Bavaria and two years too young to pledge the Masons--he'd hoped that knowing secrets would give him an edge. Except the Masons might also kill him for talking out of school...so, as once again he seems a decent sort, Zombres (under an assumed name) writes him a letter of recommendation to his sponsor in Mainz--Burnward himself! Small world, this Europe!
On the morning of the spring solstice, the intrepid band reaches the University of Reims and attempts to endear themselves to the crusty old dean, Eblus, who tells of recent gossip in the area: the new archbishop, Arnulf, is an unpopular choice, being the bastard son of the previous Carolingian ruler and not especially loyal to the new Capetian regime (ugh, politics. Can't we all unite against the real threat: the octopus men?!?). Eblus would (grudgingly) have preferred Gerbertus in the post, but he's disappeared.
Also missing from their proper place are a number of library-book pages rudely torn from their volumes, all relating to the nearby city of Meaux...mysterious! All Eblus knows about the place is that it possesses a ruined abbey and a particularly delicious variety of Brie. However, halfway to Meaux is the enigmatic Chambre aux dormans, known to Try Men's Souls. Which sounds like a great time, right? So off go the Danger Gang, Meaux-bound, to spend the night in the Chambre, a square stone room out in the middle of the field containing a desiccated couch. While Marcella dozes happily outside, those within suffer uneasy dreams, to wit: fighting terrible monsters (a giant beetle, a hydra, a purple worm, two Fermorians) and, with the exception of Zombres, getting roundly trounced to death by said monsters. Upon waking, though, nobody is dead! Huzzah! And also: huh?
