This Scepter'd Isle

Danish lich-log in tow, the Danger Gang makes a detour to Gay Paree!! Except that the current ruler, co-king Robert, doesn't allow Jews into the city. (And they showed up on Good Friday, a particularly inauspicious day to combat pious anti-Semitism.) So even though the party ALSO includes a Russian Orthodox, a Sicilian Catholic, a Muslim (though Robert probably isn't big on those either), and, uh, whatever Arben is (I'm guessing Unitarian?), NO ONE gets to go to Paris. Guess there shan't be any future trouble keepin' 'em down on the farm.

So whatever, France, you were just a flyover anyway. The real goal is England (first called that in 897, so it's totes chronistic)! And to that end, Kolya gets to captain his magic boat again, across the Channel and up the Thames to London town!! Outside the walls they meet a mendicant hermit, one Guy, who happily accepts some gold for widows and orphans and provides some local backstory. What a sweetie!

First: the current king is Ethelred (READY FOR ANYTHING!!). His Archbishop, Dunstan, is rumored to be a Satanist (like all the best archbishops). Everybody's on edge over Bevis of Hampton's threats toward the king. And it turns out that Avalon is just one of a number of Crazy British Isles--there's Jura (inhabited by large women!), Glyn Banaghaisgeich ("Valley of the Amazons," to continue a theme)(This is totally how it is really spelled. My Google-fu is strong!), Finfolkaheem, Hy-Brazil, Mam (all three only sorta there sometimes maybe). Perhaps they are ripe for the hack? Still, Guy has met a guy who claims to have been to Avalon, known as Wulfric. Of course, he is a thieving liar, full o' pranks and japes. He can be found at the king's court, along with Havelok the Dane, a pleasant fighter chap.

To get into court, the Danger Gang decks themselves out in brand-new duds!!! (As well as investing in a lead box for that potentially troublesome kindling.) Looking all fancypants, they fit in easily at the Easter celebrations, meeting Wulfric (a robust Falstaffian figure, who assures us that he's Italic textseenItalic text Avalon, and it's off the wang of England) as well as crusty general Byrhtnoth and Havelok and his lovely wife Goldborow--she, apparently the brains of the happy couple, provides ample intel on Avalon and its cranky Lady. The following morning, they are granted an audience with Ethelred himself, who is a nice chap totally devoid of side-quests at the moment. A good time had by all!