In which Diogenes delivers the necklace to a regular man about existence and we find Mr. Ti’s dragon

Okay, so somehow we just decide to waltz right into the citadel. I’m not sure how this was thought to be a good idea, but it was. I mean, okay, there was a polymorphing that occurred so that we were disguised and a bit of lying and sneaking, but it was pretty much bollocks. We are told by a tertian that we’ve gotta be killed unless we win in some trial by combat against a rudra’s son. Kolya gives it his best go, but that was a no go and we high tailed it out of the citadel. We found out that the doors were kind of wonky by getting ejected out of the citadel where we were lucky enough to grab an invisible horseshoe crab and get zapped into a beautiful and tranquil guarden inhabited by shang ti, a serene but awe inspiring gentle person.

We have a conversation with him, and it’s clear that he enjoys straight talk and does not care for impertinences. Its clear because he silences Zombres for asking too many questions. Happily, we’re in a win-win situation here. Mr. Ti has a kidnapped dragon in a place that we want to get into. If we get the dragon for him he’ll make us invisible to modrons. I should probably say that it’s not so much an if then situation as much as a when you I will. He also helps us by letting us sleep.

Okay, so then we wake up. An ugly dude greets us. Chung Quel is what he tells us his name is. He was once a simple sage but he was promoted, he’s now the god of truth and of bureaucratic tests, learning, other such stuff. Now, generally I like ugly people. They are usually better able to see the truth of this world. I didn’t trust this guy, though, and I still don’t. That is saying a lot about an ugly guy. I’m going to try to catalog what he said now so that I am better able to say “I told you so” later on. It’ll be tricky, because I promised him I’d help him. I don’t lie, so I will help him, but that’ll show someone something, surely. Anyway:

1st) he knows we’ve been talking to Mr. Ti and does not want to interefere. We have an order of operations.

2nd) when discovering that we’re from earth he asks us what we can tell him of Dr. U. A. Lao. Zombres most wants to talk, so Chung lets him. However his first talk is cagey. He only discloses Lao’s army of invisible horsehoe crabs and his relative poor standing among the peasantry in Asia over which he has a lot of influence. Now, at this point I’m thinking he IS Lao in disguise…or a minion of Lao who wants to know what we know & what we think. He’s sizing us up.

3rd) Chung tells us that he goes by the name of Maker of Moons and wants to have any and all information about that that he can. We can only tell him by returning to this place in nirvana or burning paper upon which we’ve written information in a Taoist temple. I wonder if we could write ourselves onto paper and burn the paper and then get there. That would be a much better way of getting around than the Realm of Shadows. Gosh I miss Dr. S.

4th) He heals me! Ugly people stick together. I’m gullible and here’s where I promise to help him against my more discerning judgment. This is where I am at my most stupid. I’m just a dumb cow in a field of dumb grass like everyone else. UGH.

5th) Zombres is just as dumb a cow as me and spills all of our beans, after which he disbelieves Chung. However, in the conversation he does demonstrate a mastery of over the distinction between direct and indirect objects that I admire. Chung lets us know that Lao would be a bad conquorer of earth and asks that we discover if he knows about mayuwan. None of us has the wherewithal to ask what the mayuwan is.

6th) Chung tells us something that is silly. It is his goal and his custom to know all. Now, from what I can tell customs aren’t really goals. They’re things that have been achieved. I mean, if it is my custom to eat beans every day I wouldn’t go around saying it is my goal to eat beans everyday. I don’t like this sentence one bit. Anyway, to show off he tells us the following story:

In the kingdom that most reveres rudra, an ancient evil has been awakened by careless adventurers (I’m assured it’s not us). Rudra has joined forces with modrons to better locate the ancient evil. Rudra is looking for a leather mask and helm. To be more precise, he’s looking for a man named “ haravarma of kudamba late of the house magavan”

In the kingdom that most reveres rudra, an ancient evil has been awakened by careless adventurers (I’m assured it’s not us). Rudra has joined forces with modrons to better locate the ancient evil. Rudra is looking for a leather mask and helm. To be more precise, he’s looking for a man named “ haravarma of kudamba late of the house magavan”

The house of kudamba is from Tibet. On their voyage south, they found a mask/helm. No one was foolish enough to wear it until harivarma. His brothers subdued him and locked him in a naga city. They set traps to keep him there, but he’s been let out and half of his face has been blown off. Rudra’s forces are seeking … well, all three things I guess (a stick with a goat head, a sphere of harmony, and this mask (and the guy under it).

So the conversation basically ends there. Gershom casts find the door to the top of the tower and we’re all shrunk and sitting under the armor of a rudra’s son that is Zombres. G uses a complex method of nipple pulling in order to guide Zombres through the doors. We see some undead modrons. We see a pentrodrom (who doesn’t see us) in a bookish room. Then we get into a room and I see truly that there are 2 translucent beings holding up a banner—the banner is black, but has been painted over a couple of times. There’s a goat head on it. There are three other exits. There are some shadows, and one is really real—and a mummy who has tape all over a door. I decide to protect us from evil 10’ radius.

Zombres starts talking to them in slaag. They ask who seeks the tanast of death. Then we beat ‘em all up. The protection from evil doesn’t do anything and I almost loose a level or two. We go through the door and find:

Ishopera, a many armed snake lady, two large bird-men, and a handsom man with two large swords, in holsters, crossed at his feet. I can see him truelyk though. He’s a deathslot. He slow claps as we walk in and I find him instantly charming. He mind- asks us “ to what do I owe the pleasure of so many irregularly shaped creatures”

Here’s where things get interesting. Arben chats with the self identified “lesser master,” who admits that he dosen’t like this place. The fact that anyone here speaks slotty amuses him. I show him my necklace and he likes it. Now, I’d been feeling terrible since the “I can’t lie” rudra’s son called my necklace ugly. I promised the necklace that it’d be appreciated for its beauty far more with us than with that lich, but I’m beginning to doubt that ability. This guy seems to get around, though. He goes from plane of existence to plane of existence. He isn’t even impressed with Mechanus (which is a pretty cool place). Anyway, I’m sitting here admiring this guy while the other people have some conversation about “hey will you let us into the door” and “oh, I had one job and I don’t want to mess it up” and blah blah blah. Then, we talk about the dragon being our goal and he says “look, if you give me your necklace I’ll tell you where it is.” I think that this is the real reason that Shang Ti sent us here. He knew that this slot was going to be much better at showing the necklace off than I ever would be. He also knew the slot would be so impressed by the beauty of this necklace that he’d turn over the location fo the dragon. I mean, this is just the best thing that could have happened—and proof that our world is worth saving. Arben threatens to kill me if I don’t give it to him—but it must have been some kind of a joke because OBVIOUSLY that is the ONLY thing to do. I don’t get the joke though. I think I’m going to have to start paying attention to Arben’s sense of humor a little more. He’s a multifaceted man and I have only taken in a few of those facets to date, I think.

Anyway, we follow his directions, kill a bunch of undead modrons, find some already dead modrons, and then find Teng, a large jade dragon. He’s friendly and I trust him because he is cute and an animal and I love animals and he tells us this stuff  :

Primus has been destroyed. Someone uttered a word—a dread word—a word so dread that it can annihilate a god, utterly. The guy who said the word is obviously the leather faced guy that Herald let out. sought to reclaim his power base—he wanted several things, among which a citadel was one. Also, some magic item that he used to have. We don’t know where he got this knowledge, but he used this word to blow up primus & claim this citadel as a base of operations. He is constantly unleashing horrors into the world. Now all of this just happened, but the dragon bizarrely says “they say” a lot. It’s like an adorable verbal tick or something. So “They say” that the word was too strong for his mouth and blew off half of his face—he’s sensitive about it and you don’t want to ask. I think it must be like a name of a devil, like the names of gods. I wonder if there are names of demigods and demidevils. Or heros and villains. I wonder if my name will inflict grievous harm on someone? I hope not! I wonder if theres a name that would hurt me to hear it. Ever since I fell in with the DG in that cairn in Ireland I’ve come to question so much about the world.

Teng wants to give us a history of dangerous sounds, but our time is constrained so he just says that the one who uttered this word has spent at least centuries imprisoned in a cave on the primer material plane. He was freed. Some leatherface. He has brain eating powers. I wonder if my brain is delicious or even worth eating? As he starts talking about my brain, which sits in my head, I begin to remember that the necklace wanted to be inside a hat. I forgot to tell the death slot that, and I doubt he’s going to cast stone tell on the necklace. I begin to think I’ve made a terrible mistake by giving this necklace away without providing the proper instructions.