Can

Can a.k.a. Goddamn Uggo

Likes: companionship (preferably with nonsentients), sustenance, oxygen, pussy Loves: pets, shoes & hats Dislikes: people, things, places, no oxygen Hates: certain tastes and smells Habits (bad): hideousness, failing to grasp complex situations, inappropriate urination, extreme non-cleanliness Habits (good): n/a Looks similar to: a fat, dirty Edward James Olmos (who is already very ugly, so there's no need to add 'ugly' to that list) Best line: "It's too bad she won't live. But then again who does?" Best mustache: leaves Most comfortable while: drinking, pooping Least excited when: drafted, threatened