Can

Name: Can a.k.a. Goddamn Uggo

Likes: companionship (preferably with nonsentients), sustenance, oxygen, pussy

Loves: pets, shoes & hats

Dislikes: people, things, places, no oxygen

Hates: certain tastes and smells

Habits (bad): hideousness, failing to grasp complex situations, inappropriate urination, extreme non-cleanliness

Habits (good): n/a

Looks similar to: a fat, dirty Edward James Olmos (who is already very ugly, so there's no need to add 'ugly' to that list)

Best line: "It's too bad she won't live. But then again who does?"

Best mustache: leaves

Most comfortable while: drinking, pooping

Least excited when: drafted, threatened