The Danger Gang Strikes A Deal With A Lich

The Danger Gang returns to Cassandrea to see about meeting face to skull with this Lich. They wander back through the dungeon to the door with the large crown icon on it. They give a quick knock, but there is no response. They cast on themselves a wide arrangement of spells, including a clever combination of Silence and Spell Immunity. They go through two more doors find one with a painted on black square and a sliding peephole speak-easy thing. They rap on the door and it slides open.

Arben explains that they've come to return to the crown that belonged to Cassander. He lets them in.

Once inside they find a dusty old room. There is a brazier (magical), a litter box (not magical), a shit ton of books (largely magical), some cat foot prints, and a fucking LICH named Phillip IV with a MAGICAL STAFF COVERED IN RUBIES! Everyone is kind of scared. This is doubly so, as he seems incredibly crazy. He explains that he's a very busy person, but seems willing to indulge his guests out of thanks for bringing him the crown. He flips over an hour glass that appears to have a good ten minutes time on it.

It seems he knows a little something about the end of the world. It seems his plan is just hide out down here and let the whole thing blow over. He has also taken to writing the letter Mu over all his books; he claims the "mus will drown out the zetas". He knows about KUPASPISTAN, or so he claims. He seems to enjoy equating things to letters.

While trying to piece together what he knows and what he thinks, the Gang losing track of time. The hour glass has run out. A few try to back out of the room, but run into a Wall of Wind. "I discovered that in Persia" he proclaims before laughing maniacally. Arben turns on the ol' charm, and for once it works when they really need it to. Phillip IV laughs heartily and agrees that this guy, this guy is alright. He tells them they have four weeks to find the Bloodstone, and he lets down the wall of wind. They all run out of there.

Arben tries convince everyone that finding this Bloodstone will only serve to further cement his newfound friendship with Phillip, while the others are still freaked out by his unnatural nature. In any case, it's research ahoy for the D.G.

They set sail on the Kivot and Arben and Can get dropped of at Athos to see if they've got any information on the Bloodstone there. The rest of the crew sails on to Chrysopolis. However, en route, the fickle finger of fate lands on them, as they roll a one on the random encounter table.

They notice the boat slowing down, though the winds remain constant. There is a thudding against the hull. They look over the side to see they're surrounded by fish and a shark is ramming his head into the hull. Kolya and Botomites start patching it up, while the rest of the crew eyes the horizon. Two boats, the Swordfish and the Metatron come sailing out of a cove.

Zahrah and Hush hop in the Lobster Barrel and jump in the water to start fighting the shark. Karl and Kotrag split up some skeletal arrows. Gershom gets ready to get some help from God on this one. Martialis casts Detect Magic and changes into a Seagull and does some scouting around. There's no magic on either the Swordfish or the Metatron, but he spies the Tigress back in the cove. That thing is weighed down with magic. Barnacle Bashim, Black Rachael and her sons are all laden with assorted magical sundry goods. Then, suddenly, a funny looking Jewish fella leaps out of a barrel and casts a spell on Marty, blinding him.

Meanwhile, back on the boat, Gershom keeps on having his spells interrupted. He's very frustrated. Kotrag and Karl have shot the shit out of a Bashim lookey-likey, then realize the genuine article wouldn't go down that easy. They've started boarding the ship. Marty the seagull with the glowing eyes returns to the ship, having followed the sound of the din. He convinces them that they need to abandon ship and swim for it. Karl will hang out for a little bit to hold them off. Everyone jumps overboard while Karl keeps chopping at pirates. Marty changes into a dolphin and tries to distract the shark that's attacking the Lobster Barrel. The others swim ashore, but soon encounter Black Rachael, her boys, and that deformed little Jewish fellow. They demand that they throw down their weapons, but Kotrag isn't giving up without a fight. Gershom pleads for patience, but then the little freak starts spouting heresies and accidently smacking his scrolls. Gershom decides to join the fray. This is short lived, as the well equipped, fully healed pirates are more than a match for our boys. They tie them up and lead them back to pirate camp.

Karl is beginning to tire of killing pirates. He and the pirates agree that if he just goes, they won't shoot him in the back. He leaps into the sea, where he finds Marty. He and Marty try to convince Zahrah that it's time for her to cut and run, especially after she successfully sinks the Metatron. She instead latches on to the bottom of the Kivot, which has begun to be dragged away. He cuts the rope then scuttles back under. They spy up at the surface and see a bunch of pirates on the Kivot, and the pirates, in turn, spy them.

Meanwhile, Karl and Marty have landed ashore and hide in the woods. In hush tones, they plot their retaliation against this uppity Bashim. In a moment that is surely an allegory for something, she is a blind girl piloting a lobster shaped submarine, lost at sea. She starts looking for shore.

The rest of the gang awakes from unconsciousness to find themselves stripped of their gear and chained to oars. Marty is in a spiked cage in the form of a mouse. The cruel pirates keep jabbing him with pointed things to keep him in no shape to rememorize spells.

Meanhwile, Arben and Can wait irritatedly for a boat at Athos, blissfully unaware of the fate of their associates.

Marty asks Karl to see if he can snag a body that has washed ashore while he hides in chameleon form. Karl gives a quick listen and hears a flying snake above. He tries to take it on, but the little jerk injects it with some burning venom. It takes a chunk of health away from him. He downs the invisibility potion Marty gave him, and the snake flies away. He grabs Marty and tries to hide a bit away. Soon Black Rachael and some other jerks pop up, one of them is following his tracks. Marty runs off to try to create some kind of commotion to draw the others away. Black Rachael follows him while the ranger keeps tracking Karl. Karl gets behind him and stabs him in the back. Unfortunately, the exertion causes his heart to explode. Soon the flying snake captures Marty.

Meanwhile, Zahrah and Hush are slowly scuttling across the ocean. Suddenly, something strange came over Zahrah. She opens the hatch to the Lobster Barrel and swims out for no clear reason. Hush closes the hatch.