Xiphoid Mary

Xiphoid Mary is rotten to the core and lives only to murder the innocent and drink their hot blood. She is constantly frustrated by the party’s general unwillingness to let her go “all the way.” Still, they do turn a blind eye to her occasional excesses, and she can just ride away on her steed, Beauty, when she needs to do some serious evil work, so, for the moment, she’ll stick it out with these guys. She does wish Bobby was the leader of the group, not Clock Zoo. Clock Zoo is a pussy. Actually, it would be best if Mary were leader, but that’s like step three of the plan; Bobby has to be leader first. Mary trusts Bobby implicitly, although that doesn’t mean she wouldn’t betray her. She would betray anyone except her Demon Lord Oboxob. She has zero loyalty to her party, but of course she’s not about to admit that to them. They’re pretty useful even if they’re all pretty lame, and certainly extremely unintelligent (except Bobby: Bobby’s pretty smart).

Fighters, like Konnack (not as smart as he thinks he is), Montpar (not as cool as he thinks he is), Dust (total moron and smells bad), and Galamar (subhuman) are beneath contempt. Priests are deluded fools: Morning Star is an immature little hoyden who’s going to get her face bashed in if she’s not careful and Asuidal Asuidal is the weak link in the party, almost worthless; it’s clear she’s not really an elf, although Mary doesn’t know what she really is. Mages are okay, if they’re not pussy lame-os.

She believes Clock Zoo to be a half-elven mage/thief. Also a pussy lame-o.

Mary wants the jacinth for herself, although she’s worried about putting it on, as it would drain a point of intelligence, and Mary will not give up her genius.

Mary’s great weakness is a kind of vanity, which explains the way she polishes her armor and the amount of time she spends on her hair. Most important is that no one see her do anything weak, foolish, or embarrassing. She has killed people for spotting her picking her nose. And anyway, she was only scratching it, really.

Actually, she’s killed people for no reason at all, so whatever.

Although Mary is chaotic evil, she is also a fanatic in the service of this credo, and would gladly lay down her life if the sacrifice could eliminate a powerful force for good. She would even be willing to risk her life (fighting at negative, etc.) for a party member if she believed it would ultimately help further her goals.