Scratching the lich ich

The following records were found in the office of Jaq’lil, the wizard whose efforts to communicate with the animals in order to learn more of the world have no parallel.

Gnat 3,702 in an attempt to reconstruct the coming eschaton of the ‘octopus’. This gnat appears to have been granted extreme longevity for a gnat—I’m not sure how. That more of these long lived insects are cropping up is peculiar. Story below

I am a gnat. I was on the shoulders of the great Gershom’s for quite some time before making my way to your lab [After further questioning, it appears this gnat has been alive for nearly a month rather than the typical 4 day life-cycle. He has a grandiose sense of his own purpose for this reason]. I’m still unclear on how I got here. You’re sure I just flew in one day? How odd. Anyway, to answer your questions--this man, Gershom, is bound up with the fate of our world, and though my time here is short, it seems like an excellent show—or at least a better life than that of my brothers and sisters who just hang around mushrooms all day. They have no wings for adventure, no proboscis for deeper meaning. You see Gersh—oh, I see. You have been keeping tabs on him and know his greatness—you just lost track of him after Drachenfels, I understand. Okay, so Gershom and his hangers on (who call themselves the danger gang, though they ought be named the gangrenous danger given how much death follows and befalls them) returned to Chrisopolis. The new smelly one and the old stick in the mud are still sick so the rest of the group, to occupy themselves during the re covery, go to that lich’s tower that they are for some reason drawn to. Yes, Yes, Zoulwithchy—that one. Can joined them since the gang appears to be lost without some flatulence, and they went one by one in the magic cart of theirs.

In the middle of their several-part trip a wild she-beast bursts in (Semna was her name) and they begin to fight. Who started it? Who knows! I find trips on that dreadful cart disorienting. All I know is that his flatulence fumbled her and they got to chatting. It seems that in spite of her great evil she has a fear of spiders. She was a guest of that horrible lich and tried to fight a bunch of metal spiders [at this point the gnat went on an extended rant about how the insects of the world get a bad name. Metal ‘spiders’ are not spiders at all, and ought not be called that just because they were constructed to bear the resemblance of an insect that humans universally dislike. Please see record 2,478 in insect stigma to for further information, which is omitted here as this record is only for eschatological research. The gnat took quite a while to calm down from this rant, though, so the rest of this log is perhaps tainted by the passions and strong humors]. She couldn’t and so hid for quite a few hours in the top of the tower. After extracting all the information they could from this wretched insect slanderer the DG justly sent her away to c-town, I hope to rot in the timeless prison for eternity.

The gang then look out the window and view a great deal of rubble. Strewn through this rubble there are a few too many corpses to be just common. I never understand why humans have strange rituals of hiding their bodies. If properly tended they will rot and nourish the earth. Animal knows this. These humans, they have such power over nature, but they don’t understand it at all. I can feel gershom’s heart go out toward the dead, but he steels himself against in inborn compassion in order to do what must be done for the greater good.

The group goes to the top of the tower in order make sure no one is up there. They find a room full of boxes. The prudent thing for them to have done would have been to search through the boxes, but for some reason they don’t. I don’t get these guys at all. Anyway, they go down stairs. Carl is shocked when he puts his head up to a door. Behind the door a man tells them to go away—or speaks into their brains in some way. I don’t know. It seems like that is the place to go, but the loud and friendly one named Arben insists that they continue downward. They do and find a snake and that kindly woman coaxes the snake out of their way as they explore. I have to say, other than Gershom the great, Marcella is easily my favorite DGer. She is just so kind ot animals. It’s rare that you find a half breed that is no so twisted with hate from them discrimination poured upon them in their youth that they are able to show kindness. In any case, after some exploring they find what appeared to be the ashes of the she-lich. Gershoms body temperature dropped when he saw this. I wasn’t sure if it was out of fear for the gang at what did this to her or compassion toward her. Like I said before he had steeled his mind.

So the gang, now holding a pearl necklace (they really are a bunch of filthy grave robbers sometimes—which, I mean, I’m fine with, but it’s bizarre for humans and other human-like folk) went back up to the door. When they went through they found this really tall man with a tail and a whip. He knocked the wind out of Marcella who subsequently knocked the life of out him. After they won they were looking around, saw a casket, and that is where my memory gets hazy. A remember warmth and a vision of my popping out of some eggs and some really delicious meal, and then I was here. It’s so confusing doc—ya gotta help me find Gershom again!