Transforming wine into water in preparation for a wedding

May 19: 7:00PM

So we take a nap and head back to Nyssa. Nyssa is a hot place with a lot of trees. We don’t get to go to many of these places, so I was thrilled. Marcella got all the big cats to play this really adorable cat game and in the meantime I convinced the plants to keep most of the satyrs and maenads in place. I wouldn’t have had to resort to such coercive measures if they’d just listened to my bean speech. Typical Dionysians. Anyway, we were awesome. So was Zombres, who came up with this brilliant plan and got the wine. Most awesome of all, though, was Tulpe! He swooped down and poured a bit of sweet water into this winepot to ensure that cooler heads prevailed but preventing hotter heads from emerging. Thanks Teagle. I owe you two now, buddy.

So, we asked them about themselves, and basically the quail is some horrid prisoner of theirs. Whenever the quail dies they know they need a new leader because they drink too much. These folks need the mandatory vacation to C-town we’re giving them. The satyrs and nymphs agree to let the gypsy wedding go on relatively unbothered. Also, the battle of Hydaspes was fought about 10 days of walking from here. So here’s a question. I know Jesus is always running around and showing up to different people in different forms to get them to see the truth in some way that will make sense to them given where they’re coming from. Does he orchestrate these situations so that different groups of people who have seen him meet? Do other people set these situations up so that the meetings happen and different groups fight over who the real Jesus is? Just who is in charge of how this whole world works anyhow? I hate this question. It always come up and bothers me and then I work and it goes away again, but it really really gives me the pimplyflesh.

Anyway, we told the king and he was happy. He'll definitely marry his non-sister there tomorrow. Then the DG did a nasty thing. They got some poor gypsy kid to steal #1 Dr. S (our leader)’s spell book. He almost died (the kid, if Dr. S died he’s be probably be happy so it would have been fine)! Zombres reads it and understand some, but not all of it. I at least want to just give it back to the guy, but the DG ignores me as badly as those maenads. They coax the kid into retuning it again and risking his life again!!! I should trip all of them while they’re drinking their gross alcoholic water of idiocy at the wedding tonight. Jerks. I’m going to go make bean paste and feed some people—maybe try to talk to Jesus again. He hasn’t been around much lately (I know, I know, he told me he was busy preparing for this whole potential end of the world thing. I can suck it up, I’ve done it before.)