Finding Fire and Fish
May 22nd 11PM
We were running around so much that I haven't had a chance to log our steps in a while. Now I am misremembering some things as though I weren't there--but I was!
Marcella was bravely beaten, and this bravery was rewarded by a trip the the greyeyes. They've decided that we're the world's last best hope (clearly) so they gave us a magic time glass and a brazier (I think). We just give these things away left and right. First we give the brazier to the Ctisophonian four headed arch dweller in order to get his rock. So far so good--that was the plan. Then we give the time glass to those fools who couldn't even find Norwit for us. I don't know how we expect them to do anything useful with it--but they gave us a weapon that the rock fit into. What weapon? I couldn't tell ya. After all of this trucking and bartering and awful commerce we swing by Ctown for a nap. Naps are dumb so I made more beanpaste and gave it to more of the poor. I like making beanpaste because it gives my mind time to think. Who could the third member of the holy trinity be. I smell bad, Eorl looks bad, so there must be someone that tastes awful, or maybe that speaks in an irritating way. Zolvija did that, but we killed her so she couldn't be the third member. Who, Who, Who?!?!? Maybe it's an owl. Too bad it's not Tulpe or Dr. S. Maybe it is? I wish I could dream at people in the way that these wizards can. Maybe Jesus won't pick anyone as his helper who can, though. He'd probably just have to be asleep all day long with all the dreams he'd be getting. Your right, I'll figure it out on my own. he showed me that magic tree.
When the rest of these lazy bones woke up we went back to Ctisophon. Senmerv was in a bad mood, so we didn't get to chat with him. Instead we made our way, windingly, to the thrown of Solomon--Kolya and I on a stone cold pony and the others on these awful ghost horses. We didn't get very far when a fast donkey came up to us and turned into a man more than twice my own height with hair at least four times blonder than mine (I don't know how we measure blondness). He called himself Ahk-Vahn and I called him donkey giant (but not to his face). He wanted us to work for him in exchange for being able to pass through his desert. We built him a palace with a lyre and he was thrilled. Should anyone in the desert mess with us he will give them their dessert he promised. He was no member of the trinity, nor a nice guy, but I must say that I like anyone who can be that delighted with a palace. Delight is a powerful heart melting force in an enemy.
We slept and by this time healed Marcella. When we started up the next day the desert had turned more into sparsely populated river lands. Unfortunately one of the residents was an Assdragon. This much donkeytime cannot possibly be a coincidence. Jesus must be trying to tell me something. Asses and the thrown of solomon? Maybe he wants me to sit in it? Maybe he who sits in it is made a fool? Then I'd better not sit in it, but also the fish with the knowledge might not haev knowledge. OR MAYBE THE FISH IS A HOLY FOOL! Wow, I've never met an aquatic holy fool. But the ass dragon lived under water. Of course!
Yes, Yes, we beat the ass dragon handily (well, charmed him handily...we don't like animal cruelty even to animals that are cruel to our animals who are not really animals but Tulpes). Afterward we made our way to Wali son of Mustali who does pratice animal cruelty when animals are themselves cruel. We talk him out of hunting the ass dragon and make our way to the watering hole.
Turns out there are three guardians of the well, each of which we are asked not to kill. The first two were planted by Zoroaster, and the third was eaten by a smart fish who serves in his place, though against its will I'm sure. The first--Ishtar--serves the negative plane and Arduwa, the second, serves the positive plane. The way I figure it, this is the biggest sign yet that we're going to win. Hear me out. Whenever there are three guardians they increase in power as they increase in number. Arduwa must be more powerful than Ishtar. THEREFORE the positive plane MUST BE more powerful than the negative plane. More powerful things win. We are also on the positive plane. ERGO We must win. It is a perfectly demonstrative syllogism (well, a series of them, but you're smart enough to follow). QED, that is all I have to say about that.
We banished Ishtar with no problem back to the negative plane. I think banishment isn't killing so we fulfilled the letter of the law, but not the spirit. We need to leave someone in his place, which is what was requested. But really, I think that's a bad request. Looking at my above argument I clearly state that the second guardian is more powerful than the first (and the third more powerful still). We should be able to just kill the first two (I mean, we wouldn't, killing is bad) and have decreased the protection of this fire not a whit. I don't want to hear any mumbo jumbo about weak people wearing you down for the final person. If that's the case then the third person isn't more poweful, he's just fighting weaker foes. THAT IS ABSURD. EVERYONE WHO READS STORIES KNOWS THAT THAT IS NOT HOW IT WORKS IN THE WORLD.
So, we started talking to Arduwa who, as one would expect from a servant of the positive plane, can be reasoned with. He won't let us into the lake, but he will let us drop notes in. He's being as helpful as he can without breaking his agreement. He's almost like a modron in his own way. We try to arrange a meeting with the abolith, but she keeps insisting that we go down to have this meeting. She even tells us to kill Adruwa. I can tell you this--I am not a huge fan of someone who would do that.
