A Thanatologist and a ware-rat walk into a gypsie caravan
May 19th 8:00AM CMT
Can suddenly shows up out of nowhere asking what we’re up to. He was bored. He’s a real straight shooter. I like this guy. It also happened to be useful insofar as he was able to magic mirror Dr. Stupiferous. He was at some place with rolling hills covered in ivy. It looks nice enough so we decide to teleport there.
It turns out that it’s not nice enough—it’s hot and near Punjab. Norwit is there and he’s hired Dr. S to lead the gang. Dr. S, it turns out, is obsessed with death. As far as I can tell there’s nothing wrong with him. He seems polite enough. I’m not sure why, but everyone seems to hate him. In any case, his obsession with death led him to develop things like death sight—an ability to show us how to walk through india without randomly dying. Since the whole world is going to be awash in death soon it seems like a thanatologist would be useful. I mean, he’s the one who ended up telling us that there aren’t that many braziers of fire elemental summoning left.
Anyway, Norwit has some plan that involves us facilitating the marriage of Chen, king of the gypsies, to the daughter of Raja Raja Chola. Difficulty is, She isn’t his sister but he’s not allowed to tell anyone that. This means that the gypsies are split in half, those loyal to the king in spite of his apparent-but-not-real flaunting of the incest taboo and those who cast him out.
I was trying to follow what was going on, but it was all a mumble of jumbled words. I guess if you attack someone raised by gypsies then you turn to dust? That doesn’t make sense—everyone would just hire a gypsie housekeeper if that were true. Also, This RRC guy was born to unite the world? Unite it in what, eternal slumber? There is more than one way to unite things. I don’t trust a guy who has three names, I’ll tell you that. Especially not if the first and the second name are identical. How would I ever know if he was going by his first or his middle name? It reeks of duplicity.
So, something’s going on. I’m not sure what. Tulpe flies and spies some gypsies coming, so Arben prepares a feast with the rod of splendor. The DG invite 100 of the gypsies to the tent. I decided to go find the poor of the gypsies to teach them how to make beanpaste. They kept trying to steal from me, even though I don’t have anything. I like that in an underclass. Apparently there was a lot of drunkenness going on while I was doing right by the needy. Here are a few things that I tried to gather from drunken people:
• The sister wears a magic ring (alteration) that is a family heirloom • Chen doesn’t want anyone to divine anything about the gypsies • Arben gave away our whetstone of water purification. A nice guy. I’m sure these people will put it to good use. • A guy named papush hated the kings incest, but then liked it. (Here’s a funny story about that guy. He runs around insisting that you should save things for later. Now, I’ve never liked that philosophy. If you put your trust in jesus then the world will provide. Saving anything is fundamentally an untrustworthy and irreligious act. It’s also unjust, since someone else could actually use whatever you’re saving. Anyway, he saved some wine and it vanished on him. HA! Maybe that’ll teach him a thing or two). He also thinks you should always push ahead except when you wait for precedent. I want to punch people like that in the mouth. No integrity. • Gypsies are great dancers, but they look at your hand, lie at you, and then ask for money.
So, now that the gypsies love us, Arben tries to convince them to marry sooner. They will if we can find a town for them, so we go to Nissa. Long story short, it’s a town full of Maynads (and a really nice blue statue of a drunk ass). Papusa was trying to lure everyone there as a trap. We uncover his treachery in front of Chen chen stabs the traitorous back. Now, I think, we go to clear out the village for a wedding.
