A sophisticated sophist and his idiotic prey
Diogenes’ log. Buried somewhere in the far east. The numbering is omitted as it has never been a settled question in the academic community.
The inanity seems to have stopped, or slowed, for a while. Arben first talks to some fishy folk about getting a black pearl. He clearly requests one for immediate use, and they respond by telling him about one that is far away. I’m glad I don’t have to deal with the sort of people who can’t listen to what is asked and respond in an appropriate way. I have a hard time not spitting on people when they don’t listen to me. Or, no, I don’t expect people to listen to me. I just get really irate when people pretend to listen to me but then don’t. It’s awful.
However, the nasty little pope-follower that the DG are friends with were able to obtain a temporary black pearl. Some fancy artifact was transformed for a few hours. Why not transform it into food, let people eat it, and then after they’ve sucked its nutrients and expelled it it can return to its normal form. I wonder if that would work, of if their insides would becomes little shards of the original.
Anyway, this was the only condition for Arben’s return to sanity. The man now has a plan that makes sense and does not involve playing irish chess. We heal anda then talk to Zolface to prepare for our exchange. She informs us that a skull headed sophist will be there (but she doesn’t tell us about the 20 fishmen). She wasn’t lying, this guy is the most sophisticated sophist to ever make his way outta Greece, and I’m not even sure that’s where he’s from. Anyway, a whole bunch of us hide in a cup and we go to Bevis’ bungalow for the exchange. The first part of Arben’s plan works perfectly. Since Zolface is evil, and we cast protection from evil, she is returned to her black marble and Zombres to his weak body. We don’t trust him right away, because we’re in a house of lies surrounded by the liars that built it, but we cast some magic tests to be sure that it’s him. Now, I would like to note for my record that this is the time to depart. It is clearly the time to depart. We don’t, though. However, I do take solace in the fact that this kind of wonton risk is characteristic of the foolish lot I’ve for some reason cast myself with rather than the outlandish foolishness of the 8 or so hours that preceded it.
In the mean time that mean faced sophist tries to put his hand and invites him to sit. Arben rightly does not permit either of these occurances. The Sophist, it seems, wants Arben whose charisma is felt by all (I mean, I don’t know how to quantify these things but if there were a scale of 1-20 he’s probably be about a 25 after rubbing this rock all over his face) to find out what the chinaman’s plan is. Now, I know for a fact that the DG know what it is. This put Arben in a morally perilous position. Does one lie when surrounded by the liars that built the house of lies that one finds oneself in? Arben prefers to do unto rome what rome does unto him. I can expect that, if I can’t respect it. I prefer to vacate the house.
While Arben is trying to charima his way out of agreeing to find out what he already knows Bevis starts rambling about killing the king of England. The sophist gets impatient but someone calls zarovarkash and he starts to trumpet his horn—a truthful horn it seems because it hurts the sophists ears. At this point things start to happen quickly. The Zardvark goes into the cup, we all come out of the cup, a pearl is shattered, bevis shatters an ax, some fish attack, and a magic spell occupies bevis’ dull mind. I throw a pearl at some fish people and I think they got hurt. I’m not sure, though, since right afterward the sophist speaks a lie so unspeakably dastardly that Gwynn and I pass out on the ground in shock. How can the world tolerate such an ugly thing in it? I’ll have to ask Jesus when he can talk to me again—he knows this kind of thing. I’m not sure what happens after that, though in a dream I heard a whistle and arben is a good musician, so maybe it was a real whistle. I should know, but everytime I started to ask people started talking about light balls nearly hitting zombres and I realized that I don’t care that much.
[in gealic the words ALL DEVOURING SLUGS have been added to the margins. We’re not sure why or what this means]
