Arben Says, "Sayanora To This Cockfest!"
Arben checks his notes before the morning meeting with the Agathersi, and that's when he realizes that Kosmina isn't Fotfrumous's wife. Oops. Still, that could have been worse. He could have said the following, as he originally intended:
"Hey assholes. Hey, I've got some news for you, but first, I got a question. Did you know that if you say Bloodstone in the Kalalalt, monsters appear out of the ether and assault you? Cause if you didn't know, you're retarded, and if you did know that, then fuck you! I mean, we're wandering around, asking for the bloodstone, you guys knew we were looking for it. Don't you think, as lawful good characters, it behooves you to tell non-evil parties this kind of info? But let's forget all that cause I got some news for you. You know your missing wife? Well, you can kiss my gypsy dick cause I found her. You been looking for her for, what, five years? Three days your piece of shit. Deal with that. Too busy to help with my problems, well let me throw you a bone. Clear out your schedule. Wait till you hear where she is? She's in the castle of your age old enemy, Baron Ovadu, cuckolding you. That's right, and she's loving it. You look like a fool. Oh yeah, and she's probably a vampire. So have fun murdering your vampiric whore of a wife that you've been looking for five years, you goddamn son of bitch. Or do I have to do that for you too?"
Yeah, luckily Arben didn't say that.
They set up the meeting, and Cyril is kind enough to continue translating.
They tell the Agathersi that they scared off Dr. Stupiferous and ask about how you're apparently not supposed to say Bloodstone while you're in the Taramul Kalalalt. They claim they didn't know that; sure, ok. Fine. They also tell them that Cardinal Valentine is being held in Baron Ovadu's castle, and Ovadu isn't their right now, so now is the time. Fotfrumous explains that he and his men have taken a vow to never enter Ovadu's castle. At this point, Arben has had enough. This is retarded.
"Hey, no hard feelings, but fuck you. We're leaving. If you guys ever want to take your dicks out of your hands and actually do something to solve your problems as opposed to just putting out fires, you can find us in Chrysopolis," Arben says. Cyril tones down the translation and everyone leaves as friends.
What are we going to do now. That's what the rest of the party is wondering. Arben tells them he's going to go get Barnacle Bashim and rescue the rest of Danger Gang. Then he's gonna take Bashim's rich stuff, and he's gonna use it to take down Phillip IV. Then he's really gonna take care of business. If they want in, great. But he's sick of spinning his wheels. Everyone seems to be up for it, as they don't have much else going on.
After paying Mihy for his fantastic guidework, they head back down the mountain to meet up with Solevei. Solevei says he saw the Agathersi take on a Shadow Dragon a few days ago, and it was pretty boss. Arben explains that someone probably told them about it back when it was still a hatchling, and they were probably all like, "We can't take care of that right now. Let me know when it's a mature adult and then we'll do something".
They set sail.
