Diogenes is in a foul mood

Well, let’s hope these dopes are better at chumping lao than we dopes, Since we have to send them over there. Before we can do that, though, we need to sleep to gather spells. Also, Zombres wants to test some magic cloth. I guess we can walk 500’ into the abyss now. Hoo-ray.

After this, Zombres gives the dopes a rousing speech about how they can foment discord all through china, ruining the lives of nearly everyone in that vast land, in order to keep a single person confused. So reasons the man without a heart. Happily, our dopes have either heart or brain and decide not to do this. But that’s not all Zombres does. No! He gives these guys Grmlch’s shadow goop! It was the only memento I had of my friend. Now these memories will slowly fade and calcify until all I know is that he took over my brain. Then people will ask me why I’m so fond of him and I won’t be able to answer that …… well, see it worked already. I tell you what, that man is a tyrant, zombres. If I wasn’t sure that the big J put me here for a reason I’d suspect him of being a tyrant worse than Lao. Let’s hope Zombres never rules the earth with a fist of flesh, blood and bone.

So, we send these guys over to Zho and then head back to Ctown ourselves. A guest is there waiting for us with a white flag. I guess he’s some horrible guy? His name is you genius (eugenius), he parties with some people who, I guess, are of poor rigor? and he has a tail, and is from the new world, and works for the octopuses. He comes proposing a temporary alliance against Lao, and Zombres just tries to tell him everything we know. I swear. That guy. I wonder if the weasels have a king. Maybe we should get him to lead the danger gang in Dr. S’s ansence and Arben’s retirement. Oh—he also worships someone with a linghtning-nose—which I can respect. I ask him what is going on such that I should join his side—thinking if he started giving me reasons I could reason him into joining our side (I am an expert reasoned), but everything he said was either a transparent lie, an evasion, or just nonsense. He couldn’t even answer my questions. I ask him what he wants after Lao’s taken care of and he starts talking about Lao.

So, he wants us to start a multi-front war with Lao—but actually he just wanted Lao and us to beat each other up so that we’re both weakened. I mean, that was transparent, but it didn’t even matter because the timing of the whole thing doesn’t make much sense. So he asks us to spread rumors that Lao’s daughter was born with extra fingers. I am 100% behind this. Irrelevant non-sequiters are the best way to make connections with people. They cut right through all of the formality imposed on normal conversations that keep us apart from one another. It’s like shaking with your left hand (except in places where that has been codified as rude).

Oh, so this guy who seems like a bafoon. He has a meeting with some people, or some devils, and he just isn’t going to go because he was waiting for us? He says this in some way like he’s stroking our collective ego. I don’t know how him being dumb makes us feel more important, or why we would trust the great honor that someone some dumb would do us, but whatever. He eventually invites us along, and after asking God who okays it, we agree. God let’s us know that someone would mourn seeing Eugenius in Italty, so we might be making a mistake by helping him get there, but I don’t know who that person is. I figure we’d get something more straightforward from God if it were really bad. Oh—and he also suggests that we should try to make each and every member of the nine silent a week from now. I’m not sure what that’s all about.

Then Eorl just starts spazing out for some reason. He asks some questions too—but at least before asking them he runs around and puts flowers on tables and fluffs cushions as though it was some important thing to do. I need to find the person sounds as ugly as he looks and I smell. The three of us are going to save the world. For a second I thought it was the guy who kept making me pass out by screaming—but when you’er passed out you’re not in discomfort so it couldn’t be him. There were some yammerings about getting Evelake on board and calling a burn ward, but I don’t think much will come of them.