Honor among thieves

Dear Esteemed and Honorable Chung Quel,

It’s true what they say—there’s honor among thieves. After having crushed by brute force several Ratri, Deepak told us that this was not the Ratri way, suggesting that we might perhaps be able to disarm these trapped doors. Shortly thereafter Gwyn’s big mouth actually led to a pretty entertaining scenario. This is probably more for you, bureaucrat, than for CQ, but I imagine a little bit of entertainment in these notes would lighten your burden somewhat.

So, as you know from my previous letters Deepak is a thief follower of Ratri. You also probably know that Gwyn is our company thief. What you may not know is that Gwyn really enjoys showing other people up. Since we don’t have any other thieves here, he doesn’t have much of an opportunity to do this. I think, for lack of opportunity, he took great relish in this occasion. He began by insinuating that he was a far greater follower of Ratri than Deepak. Deepak, who had recently rolled around in the dirt because some holographic form of his deity was dissolving in it, was predictably incensed and full of bravado on this. We had seven remaining doors, and the trap on each door needed to be first found and then disarmed. Deepak found the first trap but was unable to disarm it. Gwyn did the deed handily. The next door neither of them could make any headway. I think this gave Deepak a little confidence, but that was shaken right away when, in his attempt to find the trap on the following door he nearly set it off! Long story short, he never regained confidence after that point. Gwyn found and disarmed a total of 4 trapped doors, while Deepak found 4 traps, but disarmed none. Gwyn really laid in on Deepak after that, suggesting that he should perhaps become a follower of his, as G was clearly the better follower of Ratri. What impact this will have on Deepak going forward is anyone’s guess, but it was fun to watch as it happened.

Afterward it was straight up fighting time. I silenced a door out of which came a bongo-playing deity. I didn’t want her to know that her drums weren’t working so I fought defensively in a dance-like manner. It was actually a lot of fun. But, when Kolya got a bit roughed up and

I called him a pansy so he came in and pants’d me not once but thrice since he’s super fast. This threw my groove a bit, and so I soon was hit and my consciousness just couldn’t last.

So, I passed out. The rest of this is hearsay, so I don’t know how much credence you should give to it. I don’t think that my friends have any reason to lie to me, and their stories all to corroborate one another’s, but you never know. I want to give you all the facts and let you decide.

So, as I’m passed out we open the door to the festival celebrating the defeat of Ravana—the sun will not rise festival. Erlix Erlichan’s daughter appears and tells Arben that he has 2 hours to show her the time of her life on the date that he owes her, then she storms off—all in human and not black fox form.

Then they spoke to a guy who wasn’t a guy—he was an illusion? He told us to trust not what we see with our senses. This was only after Zombres did not trust him and saw that he wasn’t there—but could still talk. There was also a pit, but it looked like it wasn’t a pit, and there was a ground, but it looked like it was a pit. I don’t know what is up here—but man, this festival seems like a drag.