On the State of Novgorod
From Record Of Fantasy Adventure Venture
Found in the library of the Duchess Anna Ivanovna, it's in Arabic:
in these lands. It had been rumored, or so I have read in the libraries of His Excellency al-Muktadir, PBUH, that Ikulu had and hid in Nawobod the Ediolon of Khalk-Ru, a yellow lozenge engraved with the images of creatures of the sea. Those possessing it, who managed to overcome its terrible curses, were supposed to be able to summon and command various sea creatures, although even this was to be fraught with peril. But I have searched the town high and low with no lozenges to be found. Indeed, this city is a cultural wasteland, lacking any redeeming merits whatsoever, frigid, freezing, unpleasant, stagnant. Its people are the most shameless and unkempt in the world, often having intercourse in public, and having no shame in micturating or defecataing, and never washing after any of these activities, nor when dining. Better by far if they did not wash at all! For very day the Rus must wash their faces and heads and this they do in the dirtiest and filthiest fashion possible: viz., every morning a girl servant brings a great basin of water; she offers this to her master and he washes his hands and face and his hair, and combs it out with a comb into the water; then he blows his nose and spits into the basin. When he has finished, the servant carries the basin to the next person, who does likewise. She carries the basin thus to all the household in turn, and each blows his nose, spits, and washes his face and hair in it. Only its soil of this land is purported to be of use, although even this I doubt. The nights are uncommonly short, and before I reached my destination, and barbarians of the true faith, I had a great deal of difficulty determining the correct time for morning prayers. Had I not had to hasten, perhaps I would have found the Eirolon [sic], but to no avail. I discovered even that
An identical copy was found in a Roman library by the Danger Gang.