The Danger Gnag Bids Adieu To The Crazy Island Of Samothrace

"Well, that place was fucked up," everyone agrees as they board the Kivot. And so the Danger Gang waves goodbye to the Circus de Jerkus with promises to write and vows of friendship.

Upon their return to Chrysopolis, Eorl comes rushing out of the city gates, kvetching and wondering about this, that and the other. Arben tells him that the only thing they managed to find in Samothrace was this Forbidden Valley full of fucked up shit and these two guys, Ezio and HZ. HZ has decided to remain on the boat for a little while, as he and Eorl apparently have some kind of history (possibly Eorl once tried to beat him to death in a public square or some such). Eorl feels bad about it and decides that he's going to throw a banquet in HZ's honor. It will also be a sending off party for the Danger Gang; this time for real, because this time for really real, they won't be coming back any time soon.

Eorl seems indifferent to the bookish Ezio, until Arben whispers in his ear that he glanced at Ezio's spell book and noticed that he had Comprehend Languages in their. Eorl gets a boner and shits his pants. He starts gladhanding the little Italian and promises him all the riches of Arabi if his spell casting compatriots can get an opportunity to copy that spell.

Once Eorl gets off that guys jock, Arben and Xenon shock him with some amazing news. They're both retiring. Arben wants to start running the inn full time and Xenon is interested in the more grounded position of Captain of the Guard. Eorl is excited to have them around, but worries that the team will lack muscle, out in the field. Arben explains that he's talked it over with Can and Gershom, and they're willing to offer Beau a position in the D.G. Also, Zahrah is going to be travelling with them, working off the debt of the great state of Lugerixia (for some reason). Eorl shrugs his shoulders.

"Can, you're in charge now. Listen to Gershom and Martialis," advises Arben.

Can has a mischievious look in his eyes.

That night, Eorl gathers the troupes in the Governor's Mansion (Inn) and delivers this long winded speach. HZ has been given honeyed cakes to make his fingers less nimble, but he slowly covered himself with honey and begins rolling around on the ground as Eorl speaks, collecting flotsam.

"To defeat the octopuses, it is written, that we must first wake Ikulu's daughter Drelzna. Based on texts uncovered in Macedon it seems we likely that Drelzna, known also as Stratoniche, is on the moon. Where exactly, we don't know. Even if we did know, we wouldn't know how to get there. So now we have to figure these things out.

"Norro tells us that the celebrated Archimedes solved the riddle, but for the one piece of information that we have and he did not. So our quest takes us now to Syracuse, where Archimedes was born, killed and buried. We know his tomb is there, because Cicero tells us so in his Tusculan Disputations. Go ahead please."

Eorl nods to an aged man in the back, who some recognize as the Latin scholar who is constantly trying to push his original epigrams ("in the spirit of Martial's!" he says) into the library's collections. His knees pop when he stands, and he squints as he quotes the following from a dusty tome:

"When I was questor in Sicily I managed to track down his grave. The Syracusians knew nothing about it, and indeed denied that any such thing existed. But there it was, completely surrounded and hidden by bushes of brambles and thorns. I remembered having heard of some simple lines of verse which had been inscribed on his tomb, referring to a sphere and cylinder modelled in stone on top of the grave. And so I took a good look round all the numerous tombs that stand beside the Agrigentine Gate. Finally I noted a little column just visible above the scrub: it was surmounted by a sphere and a cylinder. I immediately said to the Syracusans, some of whose leading citizens were with me at the time, that I believed this was the very object I had been looking for. Men were sent in with sickles to clear the site, and when a path to the monument had been opened we walked right up to it. And the verses were still visible, though approximately the second half of each line had been worn away."

The scholar closes his book and sits. Eorl speaks again.

"Thank you. For the Romans travel was easy, as the entire region was Roman. For us it will be somewhat more difficult. Sicily is perhaps a thousand miles to the southwest. I have spent the past month researching, along with Perun, Leo and Norro, the best, most fruitful route to take from here to there. I say 'fruitful' because there is no guarantee that the answer we seek lies within Archimedes' tomb, and we should not hesitate to check out other sites as well. After all, I sent the Danger Gang to Aegae in the hopes of uncovering more correspondence between Philip II and Ikulu. What we got was just as good, but we didn't get it the way I expected.

"The route we have charted is as follows:

"From here to either Samothrace or Lemnos, depending on circumstances I will explain a little later.

"From there to the sacred monasteries of Mount Athos and library of Great Lavra, second only in Byzantium to the Library at Constantinople.

"From there to Cassandreia, the eponymous city of that Diadoch whose cloak is now worn by Can.

"From there back to Pella and Thessaloniki, to handle unfinished business.

"From there to Mount Olympus, the ancestral home of the Greek gods.

"From there across the Pindus Mountains to Dodona, where Zeus' sacred oak will tell the future.

"From there to the island of Corcyra, rumored to be Nausicaa's home of Scheria. I have been researching Scheria for other reasons, and have reason to believe a most marvelous boat may yet be harbored there, if you can find sufficient magic to remove it's mooring."

"From Corcyra across the strait to what once was known as Magna Graecia, now the southernmost region in Italy. It is, Norro believes, still in Byzantine control. If it is, by the time you get there it may not be. Muslims assail it from the south, and what remains of the Holy Roman Empire encroaches to the north. If you can, track down somewhere in this region the ruins of the old Greek city Crotone. Pythagoras established his secret cult there, and though the city has sacked and looted numerous times, some wisdom may yet remain.

"Finally, from there you can reach The Emirate of Sicily and the City of Syracuse. The Saracens have held Sicily for nearly a hundred years. They are rumored to be at least somewhat tolerant of Greek speaking Christians. Nevertheless, I would exercise extreme caution with the local population, especially when poking around Archimedes' tomb. Archimedes, to those who remember him, is something of a Greek patron saint of military technology. The locals would likely not be too keen on foreigners plumbing those depths.

"I figure from Syracuse, assuming you meet with success there, it is a small thing travel north to Rome, to speak with the Priests of Mithra, then to Albania to settle our debt with the Earthly Beauty, and on, hopefully, to Bhijimin."

Eorl pauses.

"Bhijimin, I'm afraid, will be the fight of your lives.

"The path through the Pindus Mountains takes you dangerously close to the Earthly Beauty's territory. You may find it best to venture into Illyria and deal with her first, before setting off for Italy. If she believes you are there to return what is hers, she may even help you. Likewise, you should find the priests of Mithra friendly and informative (indeed, Gershom may have a special interest in speaking with them), thus you may wish to visit Rome earlier depending on how you fare. But make haste -- you should never forget that our time is running out and Syracuse is far, far from here.

"As far as what will happen now, as in right now... I have sent a missive to the Samothrace Party begging them to reconsider their actions. They have already failed their mission to protect the valley, and I can only hope that they realize what horror may now be unleashed. If they come their senses, the Danger Gang should return to Samothrace and finish what was started. If they refuse, I will send you instead to the Isle of Lemnos to investigate what the Greeks called "Hephaestus' Forge," a network of underground tunnels leading, supposedly, to the god's smithy. Whatever might be inside will surely help us if we can obtain it, but neither is it crucial to the quest.

"Either way, you should be borne through the waters of the Mediterranean on the Swordfish, captained by Halcyon and crewed by Ruth and Theodolf, as well as other Chrysopolitans looking to start a new life on the open seas. While Arben and Xenon may have reduced the offensive capabilities of the Danger Gang by deciding to remain with me in Chrysopolis, I no longer fear that, as Halcyon puts it, the city will 'become a Bogytyria' in his absence.

"In any event, he will convey the Danger Gang to their different destinations in the Aegean, whilst simultaneously trolling the waters for pirates who now carry the secret of Greek Fire and call Barnacle Bashim their king. Rumor has it the "Great" Bashim has been sunk three times, but keeps slipping away. We need to find out why, and how. And if Chrysopolis should acquire the occasional ex-pirate vessel in the process, possibly outfitted with pre-plundered booty and contraband firepower, so much the better.

"At Mount Olympus you will disembark, beginning your trek across Greece. Halcyon will continue to scour the Mediterranean until he has collected enough information (and loot) to return. Crossing the straits from Corcyra should not be difficult, even failing the use of a magical ship. Norro assures me they are narrow enough to cross in a day with the help of good weather.

"Once setting off in earnest, I trust it will be at least half a year before you return to Chrysopolis, if you return. I hope to maintain contact with you, somehow. Martialis' birds at the moment can only go one way. Alternatively, Oeonoe can scry one way and Martialis can scry the other... but what we can do just by looking at each other is somewhat limited.

"Other things to consider before departing...

"The party is in need of another <cough>meat shield<cough> fighter. I would like, if the party agrees, to extend an invitation to Lugurix, as he is in need of a party with a cleric... and this one has three. This assumes, of course, that Lugurix would be interested in accompanying the Danger Gang, but I can't see as how he could pass up the opportunity.

"I despair of any other way to heal Lleryn and Brother Peter and so will have them brought along on the Swordfish so you can seek a Heal spell back at Darron's Altar in Pella. Martialis now has sufficient hitpoints to do the job, and perhaps the Brown One can be imposed upon to help out.

"Now, there remains the matter of this 20, now 19, questions jar. I, uh, would like it dealt with soon... because, well, it isn't as safe here as I would like it to be. As it will eventually become. In fact, when you return in six months, Chrysopolis should be a formidable city indeed.

"I believe that's everything I have to say. I have a rough map for you that Leo made based on Norro's descriptions and my own understanding of the geography. It isn't perfect, but it'll be better than nothing. I'll give it to you in a moment.

"I realize that this is a lot to take in, and thank everyone -- new and old -- for their continued dedication to the quest.

"As always, between the Earth and the Sea we stand.

"Does anyone have any questions?"

Beau respectfully requests that freeing Corsica from the tyranny of it's pirate oppressors be added to the itenary, but nobody listens to the junior member of the D.G. Eorl sheepishly adds it to the end of the itenerary. There being no further business, everyone settles down for drink and merriment.

It is then that five hobos bust into the dining hall. It seems strange that these five rattily dressed adventurers could make it past the city guards and all that and just waltz into the Governor's Mansion. "I'm looking for Ilya," says a short-ish one. When asked who he is, the man turns his cloak inside, revealing the finest purple garments. "I am the Emperor, Basil II."

Everyone freezes with shock (except HZ, who continues rolling on the floor and giggling). Can farts.

"These are my companions," the emperor continues. He introduces Constantine, Marius, Theodorus and Arete.

Eorl leaps to his feet and starts gladhanding the bigwig. He then rushes off to track down Ilya. While Eorl is gone, Arben takes the opportunity to introduce himself and kiss a little ass. He's quite flattered to learn that Basil has heard of the world famous D.G. They try to get in his good graces by saying that Bardas Phocas is gunning for them too, and there was an assassination attempt on them in Constantinople. Basil is disturbed to learn that Phocas has agents in Constantinople but takes it in stride. In fact, he's looking like the cat that swallowed the canary.

Eorl returns with Ilya and Basil hands him a letter. He tells Ilya that he's to have the Bogatyrs ready to march in two hours; it's time to take it to Bardas Phocas. Ilya leaves to round up the men. Eorl invites the visitors to join the feast. They discuss some of the issues they've been having. Eorl tells Basil that he heard Phocas is in North Africa. Basil doesn't care. He's gonna go rout Phocas's armies cause he's just picked up some kick ass magical items. These include the Aquila, Crassus' eagle standard, an Orb, and a Labrum. Eorl and Basil II discuss the antiquity of these items. Arben suggests testing these items before the real battle, but no demonstration is forthcoming.

Meanwhile, a honey covered HZ has gotten stuck to Constantine. He rifles through the man's pockets as Constantine tries to pry him off with a stick. They are the original odd couple.

Eorl asks to know what's going on with Samothrace, and Basil II explains that it was most likely the work of Phocas's underling, Michael Corticos. He went to activate the wall to destabilize the empire, have it overrun with crab monsters and the like. They request permission to go clear this out, and Basil II gives them the OK. He also requests that they tell the Circus De Jerkus to join him when they get there.

The night is getting on, and Basil has to be leaving, so he makes his goodbyes. He also grabs Halcyon. "Eorl, you're in charge," Basil II says. Eorl asks him to put it in writing and Basil II agrees. Halcyon chucks Eorl the sword of nix, asking him to avenge his death.

Basil II and Ilya gather up the Bogatyrs and they head out of town. Everyone else goes to his the sack. Everyone else, that is, except Eorl, who is pacing back and forth through the mansion, rubbing his hands together and giggling at his new found power.