The Stones of Buthrotum Speak

A transcription of what was said by the Stones of Buthrotum when asked for the history of the Jews who dwelt there.

 Helenus the Trojan founded Buthrotum with the intent of designing it to match Troy in design. Aeneas visited it. The shrine to 
 Asclepius became a tourist attraction. A copper snake on a pole was a local Asclepian relic. Lots of history happened. All of 
 this I saw.
 
 Many years later, Jews arrived, a whole tribe. Buthrotum, due to financial shenanigans in the Roman Empire, was understaffed, 
 and if no one was ecstatic that the Jews were there, at least they were not able to kick them out. (I am uncertain of dates.) 
 In time the temple of Asclepius was abandoned, and the Jews moved right in.  They found the copper snake, and misinterpreted it 
 as Moses’ Nehushtan (sorry, Ezekiah! they cried, again and again, for Ez. (they said) had destroyed the real Nehushtan to avoid 
 idolatry). They gradually began to slide away from their ancient practices, as the secrets of Asclepius’ snake temple seemed 
 more and more beguiling. Lazy and complacent, some might have called them at the point. At least we have no intention of 
 worshipping a golden calf, they said to each other, in self-congratulation.
 
 Then Alexander of Abonoteichus, the long-undead lich of the notorious false snake-prophet, showed up. He was eager to set up 
 shop among the great snakes of Asclepius, and the Jews had the devil of a time driving him off. His god was not even kosher! 
 Snakes are gross, when you think about it! The Jews felt lucky to have driven him off, since they had no particular fighting 
 prowess; some said they only managed because the demon Semuanya had cursed Alexander (for reptile fraud).
 
 This adventure made the Jews simultaneously nervous about false prophets and nervous about staying where they were (liches tend 
 to crop up again and again). So it was that they were of two minds when an Arab showed up. He had a reputation as being a 
 follower of the false prophet Muselma, the false prophet who fought Mohammed and was slain by Waxa (apparently the same guy who 
 had slain Hamza with a two-headed spear before converting). This made Muselma a double false prophet, a splitter from a 
 splitter, and both of them a type of the perfidious Arab. This Arab persuaded them, though, that not only was he not a follower 
 of either false prophet, but he had with him a whole passel of Jews, who had great wisdom of their own, and skill in building. 
 After much debate, they all joined forces, and Arap soon showed up, in his own inimitable way, and contracted them to build the 
 palace of the Earthly Beauty. So departed the Jews of Buthrotum. What wonders of stone must they have made since then! And I 
 never saw them again.
 
 You wanted the tale of the Jews of Buthrotum? Your wish is granite!