Tulpe's demise

May 16 ~11:30pm CST

They say all things must pass. It is with a heavy heart that I report the passing of two of those things today. One of the passings happened today, Tulpe. Gwyn is holding onto his physical remains while we find an appropriate resting place. This fellow—perhaps the best conversationalist of the DG and a stalwart friend—why I cannot express is words what a good soul he had. Why, I couldn’t even be writing this remembrance if it weren’t for him. Remember when that smelly insane elf bit off my hand? Well, Tulpe sat with a man-bear for more than a week in order that the blood needed to restore my hand to my body could be obtained. He knew me for less than a day and he did this for me. We picked him up. We took him here to Italy. His head was knocked clean off of his body. Don’t worry Tulpe, the next time I talk to the big man I will put in a good word for you. He’ll take care of you.

I’m also reporting the passing of all that was right and just and proper from the once noble Pythagoreans. If he did talk Jesus into letting him come back (he was big on reincarnation) he certainly didn’t get to come back and steward his organization because now they’re just a bunch of bureaucrats—the least reasonable people on earth (they’re not really from this plane anyway).

So like I said, we are in this room with 10 doors and a modron with 10 arms. He is fumbled, we tie him up, we come up with a nice deal. So long as we do not use any of the 10 doors he will see to it that no harm comes to us for the duration of the time that we are in his room through either action or inaction. This deal lasts for 1 year. We ‘hack the contract’ by stoneshaping the doors, flipping them around, and using the portals that are on the other side.

We first go through door 10 and end up in a room with nine doors and a nine-limbed modron. He is dealt with quickly enough. We then open door 1, find an 8 doored room with an 8 limbed fellow, and close it. Instead we go through door three. Here we meet one of the Tertians. Well, meet is kind of a tricky word. Arben tries to chat with him through the door and is charmed. After a few more failed attempts at initiating a parlay we enter and fight the beast. I’m knocked to a negative and Tulpe’s head is knocked from his shoulders. Kolya absorbs a great deal of lightning. I’ve seen him jump through fire, absorb lightning, breath water. This guy can do quite a bit. Anyway, we dispatch the Tertian.

At this point we’re in pretty bad shape. Gwyn is in shock at Tulpe’s death and carry’s his body, but he isn’t much use other than that. To figure out where to go next I let Zombres magic jar my body. Somehow this lets him know what’s behind doors number 1 and 2. A weak thing is in door 2, so we go there and destroy it. It’s clear that we need to recoup so we return to the room where a bureaucrat is contractually bound to protect us. After resting and healing we try to figure out a pattern (some ‘super-genius chicken’ tells us that there is a pattern. Of course there is! Urgh!) We ultimately figure out that there is one, but only after dispatching 4 shadow monsters from room 4 and tricking a few bouncing balls to hide in an irrational room. The pattern is this: all those doors which are not a factor of the highest numbered door in a room lead to an irregularly shaped room. All those which are a factor of the highest number lead to a room with fewer doors and a more powerful modron.

So, it is back to room 10 and battle preparations for us, for through door 5 is a secundus! To be fair, he is more open to chatter than his subordinate. He tells us that he will dispatch us one at a time should we enter his door, and he instructs us to leave this place. We don’t. Marcella goes through the door and sees a narrow room with a door at the end. She tries to hit him but he with one blow knocks her to a negative. Kolya is up next, but in the meanwhile Can teleports he and I to the other side of the room. Kolya and I get clobbered and we’re reeling. What I’m told happens after this is that Can pulls me through the door into a spherical room. It had semicircles all around it and there were constant echos of instructions such as: “quit not your post before your general’s order” and “give way to a flock that goes by.” At the bottom there are 6 chests. We grab 1 and teleport back home.

In the meantime Zombres teleports everyone out save the fighters. He then goes back in to save them but is power-worded into some unknown state. Arben scry’s on M&K to see them caught in a rainbow dome of death. K, 2 hours later, is still reeling (as am I). What are we going to do? Clearly I know, because I couldn’t be writing this while reeling, but the dramatic effect is far superior if I end this installment now. Goodbye Tulpe. Until we meet again!