Road to Kebnegard, Chapter Two
Questioning
Thursday, December 22nd, 987 AD
We took the Tailed cleric and the rest of the survivors about two hours north of the battleground and proceeded to question him in a language we didn't have in common. First, Reynaldo broke each and every one of his fingers, just in case. Catarina then cast Comprehend Languages and we pantomimed our questions to the cleric. He let us know that the flail would stop being crazy after eight days time. He also let us know that they were probably going to come back and kill him. The party didn't seem to mind very much. We rode back to Kiev to take our prisoners to the prince, but, just as the cleric had predicted, the other man in black and the woman come to try and kill him. Riding large griffins. We ride as fast as we can to the gates of the city, but the griffins are too fast. They shoot large needle-like arrows from their wings and peg many of us. We shoot back as best we can until they break away. When we get to the prison we find that the cleric and all but one of the other prisoners are dead. We deliver the one survivor. We rest at the duchess'.
A Slow Day, Except for the Almost Killing
Wednesday, December 23rd, 987 AD
In the morning, I was privy to one of the very few moments in which Reynaldo gave up.
Reynaldo: I don't know... You know what? Fuck it. I don't need the book. Fuck the elf bitch. I'm not giving her the satisfaction of going to her stupid city. She can keep the goddamn book as long as it takes a giant to chew on her goddamn head.
Jean-Claude: Are you retarded!? ...I mean, let's not be hasty. That's a powerful magic book. It's fourth and fifth level spells.
Reynaldo: Who cares? We'll find them elsewhere.
Jean-Claude: Elsewhere? Where elsewhere? You know exactly how hard it is to find magic.
Reynaldo: I know, but... ARGHHHH!
Jean-Claude: Listen, I know you got bamboozled, but that's just more reason to go after her. We'll get to Kebnegard, get the book, and go.
Reynaldo: Yeah, right. Like I don't know the other yahoos in the party who are just going to insist on saving the poor Kebnegardians.
Jean-Claude: We'll just have to set the terms up before we'll agree to helping them.
Reynaldo: Are you deaf? I don't want to help them! I don't even want to go anymore!
Jean-Claude: No, listen. We have to go. But before we agree to going, we'll make sure the rest of the party knows we won't help unless we got a lot in return.
Reynaldo: Like what?
Jean-Claude: For starters, we'll demand all the money that we're going to spend getting up there and coming back down. Then we'll ask for tons more money, as well as access to their Tailed prisoner. We'll demand information and magic and all kinds of things. Think about this.
Reynaldo: ... can I ask for her stupid head, too?
Jean-Claude: Sure.
They brought this up with the rest of the party and they agreed, except for getting Agnia's head. That would have to stay where it is, they said. Reynaldo may have stopped listening at that point.
We went into town and purchased supplies, except for magic supplies. It turns out someone else had gone and bought them all already. We're pretty sure it was the Tailed People. The two dwarves went off to visit Aphemia again because Reisha was afraid that she had contracted lycanthropy. The rest of us went to see Ilia and ask him how long he thought the Kievan army would take to get to Constantinople. He answered two months. We sold all the extra arms, horses, and armor that we had so that we felt somewhat wealthy and we could buy a gift for the duchess. We ended up getting her a white fur hat.
Before we got back to the duchess', a woman stopped us in the street and asked to duel Wong. Her terms were that if she won, Wong would never fight her or her companions if the woman was ever at odds with us. If Wong won, the woman would free the guy arrested for spying a few days before. Before we could say this smells fishy, Wong accepted. Volga, the Bogatyr, was brought by the woman to make sure everything was fair. The duel began and finally Reynaldo asked Jean-Claude to view the woman through his Gem of True-Seeing. He did so and saw the woman that had attacked us with the Tailed People. Reynaldo nearly fried her and Wong on the spot. Wong ended up winning the duel, but the argument afterward lost her some friends.
Reynaldo: What kind of dumbass maneuver was that? Are you even fucking thinking? Had she won, you would have been useless to us!
Wong: Honor good.
Reynaldo: Fuck your honor! You nearly fucked us over.
Wong (shrugging): I not care.
Thalia: She works for the octopuses. Doesn't that matter to you?
Wong: No. Only thing matter to cousin I look for is getting freemason help. Plus, I not really believe in Octopuses.
Reynaldo: Then what the fuck are you still doing here!? You don't care about our mission, you only care about yours. In fact, you basically worked against us in that stupid duel!
Wong: I get friends.
Reynaldo: No, no you didn't.
The freemason, whose name escapes me, talked with us and thanked Wong for getting him out. Wong gave him and extra sword she had, as well as a letter for him to deliver. Edward spent some time trying to convince Reynaldo that while the terms had been accepted by Wong rather hastily, it was in our favor that the freemasons see us as friends.
We went back to the duchess' and looked around her library. We found a few things about the creatures we're supposed to be hunting for. Then we told the duchess that that night would be the last we would spend under her roof. We gave her our gift and then she gave gifts to us: to Reynaldo, she gave a magic book cover that would scream if any but he took the book it was on; to Wong, she gave a sword of exceptional craftsmanship; to Nicolae, she gave a worn Tarot card with the Fool on it; to Anna, she gave an engraving of St. Michael; to Thalia, she gave nine arrows, three of which turned to fire, three of which split into more arrows, and three of which pierced through armor; to Reisha, she gave a small statue of the Virgin Mary that would cry blood if someone she cared about was hurt; to Catarina, she gave a flute that would play very sweetly; to Edward, she gave a magical hammer of St. Afinagan; and to Ivan, she'd already given him her gift, and that was the poetic fragment "with burning spear and horse of air." Apparently, the most important gift of all.
We felt bad that all we got her was a hat. We rested for the night.
TaIking Animals
Thursday, December 24th, 987 AD
We bid a final farewell to the duchess and boarded the first boat that was going north. We sailed all day, stopping at a few towns, and when we stopped to sleep, we found that the legend of animals talking on Christmas Eve is true. We try to ask an owl if he knows anything about Phoenixes or Rocs, but he just goes on and on about how wise the owls are. Jean-Claude nearly pops a blood vessel for unknown reasons.
Christmas Traveling
Friday, December 25th, 987 AD
Again we sail all day. Edward 'prays' all day. At night, we stop at the city of Lubek where we spend the night.
Pirates
Saturday, December 26th, 987 AD
Halfway through the day, Reynaldo, from the rigging, spied a hut made of bones on the bank. Jean-Claude discreetly turned into a bird and flew over to check it out. Inside, he found a dead woman and, upon further inspection, four jars containing magical gels. He deduced the woman was a witch and flew back with the jars. Later that night, after we had stopped to sleep, pirates took over the boat. Since all the men had slept on the bank with the other sailors and the women had slept in Thalia's room, the women had to hold the fort until the men could get there. Reynaldo flew to the boat and started knocking men off the rigging while Jean-Claude blasted flying pirates out of the sky with Lightning Bolts. Nicolae and Edward held and slept as many as they could see. Ivan spent the whole battle trying to get his armor and rallying the other sailors. Most of the heavy lifting was done by the women, who killed every pirate on the deck. When the battle was over, the women were pardoned from working and instead put on guard duty. When fighting, the women noticed that pirates' clubs were shimmery and that they felt no pain. It turns out they were the ones that had killed the witch and stolen all her magic gels. We were able to take seventeen extra jars of magical gels from the dead pirates, whose leader told us what three of the gels did if we agreed to kill him. He told us that the red gel was for flying, the green gel was a healing and disease curing gel, and the clear gel was an anesthetic. We deduced that the yellow gel was what had made their clubs magical.
End Chapter Two
Previous:Road to Kebnegard, Chapter One
Next:Road to Kebnegard, Chapter Three