Road to Kebnegard, Chapter Twenty-Four

It hurts
Sunday, April 22nd, 988 AD

We are dragged back to our inn by Sigrid's men after getting whomped on by Sumarliv earlier in the evening. Shara, however, starts to feel better. Vera still feels awful. We're getting worried about her. Maybe somebody ought to cast Cure Disease or something.

We rest at the inn all through the night.

A Really Bad Day
Monday, April 23rd, 988 AD

We bid Sigrid farewell and the Masons wave to us from the docks as we set sail on the Valgae Leya. We whip around Gotland and head northwest towards the coast of Sweden.

Four hours later, a flash of light occurs on deck and Jean-Claude appears.

Jean-Claude: Arm yourselves! Also, this totally isn't my fault!

He runs across the deck, behind the rest of us and a second flash of light appears on deck, and a second Jean-Claude appears on deck.

Jean-Claude 2: Flibberty jibbit! Nyargle murf burdor! Do the Rilly Dance goober!

Then it pulls a wavy sword out of its forehead and begins attacking us all. Since we're still feeling the effects from getting beat by Sumarliv, we're actually kind of scared, but it turns out, for naught. Wong is the only one to go down before we defeat the Jean-Claude clone, which turns out is actually a slimy frog is diguise.

Reynaldo: Listen, I'm super happy to see you and all, but what the fuck? That guy called me a nerf herder, man!
Jean-Claude: That was Baba Iaga's fault, not mine. After I gave her the-- uhh, maybe you should let somebody, you know, go pad around below decks while we talk about things.
Reynaldo: Oh, yeah. You're right.

Reynaldo lets Isabela out of his coat and she goes below decks and hangs out with Wong.

Jean-Claude: Is this boat white?
Reynaldo: And I'm the captain!
Jean-Claude: Congratulations!
Reynaldo: Thanks! It's tough work getting these guys into shape. We have a sailor--
Jean-Claude: Okay, enough of this small talk. She's gone down.
Reynaldo: Small talk? This is important, man!
Jean-Claude: So, I went to Lybia and got the Staff of the King of Cats along with Harald, right?

   To be continued...

Goodbye Sailors
Tuesday, April 24th, 988 AD

We heal up and sail north towards Upsala. After a quick day's travel, we reach Ostra Aros and drop off our second and last sailor, Vladimir. We travel slightly more northwards and make camp on the shore. Moishe starts to feel really bad. He joins Vera in the infirmary.

Myosars Are Stupid
Wednesday, April 25th, 988 AD

We sail north and after four hours, we see an enormous sea snake, also called a Myosar. It tries to attack us three times, but the magic of the Valgae Leya prevents it from doing so. We make camp when night falls.

Texts That Will Drive You Mad
Thursday, April 26th, 988 AD

After only an hour's sailing, we reach Hudic. We shrink the boat down and start to walk into town, but we see the tips of some pyramids in the distance and walk towards those instead. When we reach them, we find two large pyramids with strange writing on all of their faces and an obelisk with proto-Nordic runes on it. Before we can attempt to read anything, we are attacked by a pack of about twenty Lynxes. They surprise us with their speed and numbers, but after their initial volley, they are quickly taken care of, and all save one are killed.

Jean-Claude reads the proto-Nordic runes and finds a letter from Igwolf. Reynaldo then tries to read the strange writing on the pyramid faces with a Comprehend Languages spell. He reads something about an ancient battle between two sea cretures, both with multiple appendages, before going totally insane. Many spells are tried in order to cure him of his insanity, including a Remove Curse (which removes a curse; we think it's the Laughing Curse brought upon by the doll in Gotland) and two Dispel Magics (one of which dispels some other magic and one which dispels the madness) before he's sane again. We rest for the night.

Trading Pyramids for Rumors
Friday, April 27th, 988 AD

We awake and walk back to the pyramids. Anna Divinates about whether or not Reynaldo should continue trying to read the strange language on the pyramids, risking repeated bouts of insanity. God replies,

    God's Reply (to be inserted later)

So, the party decides Reynaldo should quit while he's ahead. We search for doors on the pyramid faces for a couple of hours, but find none.

We head back into Hudic proper and go into bars and listen for rumors: there is a region in the North cultivated by two giants called Everbloom, so-called because it is always green; before trade to Estonia got cut off, there was an albino by the name of Eugeneus trying to pass as Estonian, but the locals knew he wasn't and suspected he was an agent of Prince Vselov; King Erik's advisor, Thorgnirr is said to be the real power in Sweden; Jarl Harald of Westford has a crush on Sigrid, Jarlina of Gotland.

We leave the bar, some of us slightly tipsy, and ask around for private rooms. Since none can be found, we head out into the wilderness and make camp.

Reunited... And it Feels so Good
Saturday, April 28th, 988 AD

We sail from Hudic to Ketelheim and meet up with the rest of the party. Greetings and introductions are made all around. Edward explains that they've been holed up in Ketelheim waiting for a certain skald to return. Just then, the skald returns. He recites the Hjorungavagsmal to us, and then we pay him 100gp in order to have him teach it to us. We rest in an inn.

More Rumors
Sunday, April 29th, 988 AD

While in Ketelheim, we buy and sell things all around, Shara going so far as to having Hide Armor made for herself from the scales of the Polar Wyrm we defeated back in the Kievan Empire. While partaking of all this commerce, we hear the following rumors: the sword of King Hakon the Good, Kvernbit, has not been seen since he died 30 years ago; the Jarl of Trondheim is a talking dog (Ivan tries to convince Reynaldo that this is true, but Reynaldo just brushes him off); a couple of hundred years ago, a Saxon warrior woman named Olava was courted by the Danish King Helgi, but instead of granting him favor, she shaved his head and tarred him. As revenge, Helgi raped her and therefore sired Ursa, who was raised as a sheperdess, not knowing her true parentage. King Helgi then fell in love with and married Ursa, he also not knowing of their relation. As revenge for the rape, Olava told Ursa of her relation to her husband, who then ran off and married King Adliss, or Eyaggils, of Sweden; long ago, the Holy Roman Emperor once had a knight that flew around the world on a winged animal of some sort; the Jomsvikings have been licking their wounds ever since they lost the battle of Hjorungavag; the leader of the Pechinegs has acquired a magical harp; there is an island in the Baltic where a giant named Leger is sinking ships by throwing rocks at them.

We head back to our inn and sleep peacefully through the night.

End Chapter Twenty-Four