Road to Hyperborea, Chapter Three

"My Love For You is Like a Truck"
Monday, May 21st, 988 AD

After resting through the night, Edward Divinates on the plan to send Jean-Claude to Kiev in the hope of raising Anna. God answers that it would actually be best if we adventure up here in the Northlands until Edward has proven himself capable of handling the power to Raise a person. We all look at each other and decide to go ask Thorgrim and Thorgrima what there is to kill around here.

Edward casts a few Dispel Magics on Orm to see if he wakes from his magical sleep, but alas, he continues to slumber. Meanwhile, Thorgrima Communes with Nature and speaks with a tree and some grass about what may have happened the previous morning. The tree says it only heard a ruckus, while the grass gives an eyewitness account. It says that it saw something like water in the sky fly into the cave and then it heard a ruckus. Thorgrima thinks that the watery thing the grass saw was probably the mirror that created the doubles.

We ask the giants what they might know about evil creatures around that need some killing, and they reply that they don't really know of anything. But perhaps Tviblindi, the 'Twice-Blind' might know something. He usually hangs out to the north of the Everbloom, but the giants warn us to be careful when approaching him. Apparently, he's surrounded by a bunch of berserkers who will attack anyone who approaches. We can gain their respect if we defeat them in battle, but we don't really want to fight a bunch of berserkers if we can help it. Thorgrim tells us to head towards the west and circle around the Everbloom towards the north until we meet him.

We march outside of the Everbloom looking for Tviblindi, Nenufar joining us for moral support. About an hour later, we find the corpse of a an ogre, but it looks weird. There's quivering white pus in its hollowed-out chest cavity. There also seems to be some of the pus in the area surrounding the corpse, giving the snow a glossy look, but we can't be certain what with it being white. We give the corpse a wide berth and keep going around the Everbloom.

After about another hour, a raven lands on Reynaldo's shoulder and starts cawing "Begone!" We try to ask it a few questions, but it just keeps cawing. Suddenly we get attacked by some furry snakes. Normally, they'd be easy pickings, but for some reason, they all but mop the floor with us. Conrad is especially wounded as the snake venom courses through his body, nearly killing him. We kill most of them, but then Nenufar and Jean-Claude are held and nine berserkers come out of the woods and attack. They turn into bears with human hands and starting whomping on us. Reynaldo takes to the air and calls for Tviblindi, saying we just want to talk, but no one answers. Thalia beats down the weakest of the berserkers, one who hadn't changed forms, but that's about as far as we get with these guys. They do their damndedest to finish off what the snakes started, but then a man walks out of the woods and administers first aid to the fallen berserker. Reynaldo Lightning Bolts him twice and tells him that if he doesn't call off the remaining berserkers, he's going to get more of the same. The man falls for the bluff and calls off the berserkers. He also lets Jean-Claude and Nenufar out of the Hold Persons he had cast.

Tviblindi: What are you doing here?
Edward: We came to talk to you, actually.
Reynaldo: Yeah, didn't you hear me screaming that out before I blasted you?
Tviblindi: Very few people seek us out to talk. What is it you want to talk about?
Edward: The giants who protect the Everbloom told us that you would know of evil things around the area that we could take care of.
Tviblindi: This is true. We've come into contact with many such beings as the protectors of Yggdrasil.
Reynaldo: Wait, back up. You protect the what now?
Tviblindi: Yggdrasil, the World Tree. We protect it from all craven individuals. It is the holy mission the All-Father has placed me on. Many creatures attempt to attack and destroy it, thereby hurrying Ragnarok.
Edward: These creatures, are they Tailed People?
Tviblindi: You mean the Holder Folk?
Edward: No, these men have longer tails, usually prehensile.
Tviblindi: No, nothing like that. Usually it's giants, but they've attacked the gods since the beginning of time.
Ivan: I hate giants.
Edward: Any other creatures around here?
Tviblindi: The most horrible of creatures is the Cold Woman. This white witch lays eggs in the corpses of those she slays that grow into acidic creatures. We've fought her a few times, with no clear winner. She is a dangerous foe, but should be killed as soon as possible.
Jean-Claude: Anything that doesn't spit acid?
Tviblindi: There is a white dragon about fifteen miles to the west, and some giants further west than that. To the north, there are creatures from Nifleheim with chilly spears. Some of the are composed entirely of ice. To the east there are ogres. These are all dangerous foes, and aside from your two elves, who handled themselves admirably in our little contest, I don't think the rest of you can hack it.
Ivan: Say that to my face, you son of a--
Reynaldo: Settle down, little buddy. Look, thank you for the compliment and all, but if we'd been loaded for bear instead of just coming up here looking for a chat, we would have taken you out. As it is, I forced you to call off your boys and this ended up a draw.
Tviblindi: A draw? Surely you jest. Say I hadn't called them off and you'd been forced to kill me. What then? I'm the only one who can calm them down.
Reynaldo: We would have calmed them down the hard way.
Thalia: That's enough, children. Remember we're on the same side.

We tell him all about the Octopuses and how they're trying to end the world. He seems dubious.

Tviblindi: That's a mighty fine story. However, Ragnarok will come when Ragnarok will come, regardless of the veracity of your tale. In fact, if we weren't on a mission ordained by the All-Father, we wouldn't be here. As it stands, you are not allowed north of the Everbloom for any reason. Next time we meet, you'd better be loaded for bear because I won't be calling anybody off.

We head back into the Everbloom in order to talk to the Moors while making sure they're not lying. We all gather round and Edward casts Detect Lie while Moishe asks the questions.

Moishe: What happened in the instances where you killed entire elven villages?
Raheesh: Things got out of hand.
Reynaldo: That's not good enough.
Raheesh: Usually, things go well. We ask questions and we get answers. Sometimes, things don't go well and we're attacked, and then we have to defend ourselves. Sometimes, our attackers are so powerful, we have to use djinns to defend ourselves. And the djinns we use are difficult to control. We try to get them back after they've defeated our adversaries, but sometimes we're not so successful. Sometimes they're bloodlust cannot be contained.
Reynaldo: How many villages have your djinn razed?
Raheesh: Five.
Moishe: Knowing what you know about these djinn, why do you continue to use them?
Raheesh: Because when the choice is between the certain death of my men or the possible destruction of a village, there is no choice.
Moishe: Why is the Caliph of Cordoba seeking the Glitter Gates?
Raheesh: I do not know the mind of my Caliph, but I have my suspicions. He seeks a way beyond the Sambation, the River of Stones. I think he believes the lost tribe resides behind it.
Moishe: Why does he seek the lost tribe?
Raheesh: Again, I don't know the mind of my Caliph, but my best guess is that he thinks they have powerful magics or artifacts with them, and he ultimately seeks those.
Moishe: Does the candle work so that it detects lies on both sides as you claim?
Raheesh: As long as Baqir is the one asking the questions.
Moishe: Where is Gaulthiel's spellbook?
Raheesh: Here, with us.
Moishe: Where are you going next?
Raheesh: Well, I don't know yet. Possibly to the north pole, where secrets are revealed and mysteries are laid overt.
Moishe: Can we trust you not to seek revenge against Reynaldo?
Raheesh: Technically, the elf is a wanted man in Spain, but that is not my mission now. I have no real desire to kill him nor to take him back in chains. That said, you probably don't want to show your face in Madrid.
Moishe: Do you speak for everybody here?
Raheesh: They will obey me.
Moishe: I think that's all we've got, though if possible, we'd like Baqir to ask Qadir and Aaqib if they still harbor plans for revenge against Reynaldo.

Baqir then lit his special candle and began asking questions.

Baqir: Namnatur, where are the Glitter Gates?
Reynaldo: I already told you, I don't know, but best guess, somewhere in the west, like the saying goes. Also, could we maybe not use my real name if at all possible?
Baqir: Sure. What did you do yesterday morning to attack the giants in this forest?
Reynaldo: We had nothing to do with that and I remind you that we lost someone in that attack.
Baqir: Just making sure, Reynaldo. What does Izar Neska mean to you?
Reynaldo: It's elvish for "star maiden," but other than that, nothing.
Baqir: How do you say "Hello, we'd like to ask you some questions," in elvish?
Reynaldo: "Hello, we'd like to ask you some questions," (but in elvish).
Baqir: Aaqib, do you still harbor plans of revenge against Reynaldo?
Aaqib (rather relived): Not at all.
Baqir: Qadir, do you still harbor plans of revenge against Reynaldo?
Qadir: My leader has commanded me to abandon all such plans. That said, if the elf, or a champion of his choosing, would like to face me in honorable combat, I would be much obliged.
Reynaldo: Honorable combat, huh? Maybe.

Baqir then snuffed out his candle. Since the flame never even flickered, I guess Reynaldo didn't lie once. And neither did Aaqib or Qadir.

Reynaldo: Hold on there. Before we break up the party, I'd like my father's book back. You know, the one you stole off his dead body?
Raheesh: Do you even know what's in it?
Reynaldo: No, but I can't see how that matters.
Raheesh: Some one would say that those who do know what's in it deserve it more. Regardless, we claim the book as a spoil of war.
Reynaldo: It wasn't war. It was theft, and I'd like the property returned.
Raheesh: As I told you before, we only unleash the djinn when we're in mortal danger. Your father acquitted himself very well. It was war, and we the book is ours.
Reynaldo: What if I take Qadir up on his challenge. If I win, I get the book.
Raheesh: The book is not his to wager. Plus, our religion forbids gambling.
Reynaldo: But killing and stealing is just fucking dandy.
Edward: Let it go, Reynaldo.
Reynaldo: For now, but this isn't over. We'll speak about this again, Raheesh.
Aaqib: You know, we could trade spells. Copying and the like.
Reynaldo: Maybe. We'll talk later too.
Edward: Let's talk about where you're going next. If you go north, past the Everbloom, you will find a group of berserkers waiting for you. They've warned us not to north, and I can only assume that warning extends to all creatures.
Qadir: Heh, maybe you should warn them about us.
Raheesh: Qadir, quiet. What I'd really like to do is find more elven communitues.
Reynaldo: I know some elves you could talk to. They're an underground community off the coast of the Euxine Sea. In fact, they live on top of a portal that can definitely go to other places on this plane.
Edward: However, these elves are quite hostile.
Reynaldo: But I frankly don't care if you kill them all. In fact, I'd root for you guys in that match-up.
Raheesh: That sounds like a good place to go, actually. Thank you for the information.

We all went to our respective corners in the giants' cave and slept through the night, though with regular watches still set, of course.

End of Chapter Three