Road to Kebnegard, Chapter Ten

The Tarot Dungeon, part II
Saturday, February 11th, 988 AD

I pieced together the first part of this after Svipdag and Conrad reappeared in the tarot card room. The other part I got from Jean-Claude and Edward after they reappeared. They also confirmed Svipdag and Conrad's previous statements.

While still resting, Isabela (who was left behind in the Tarot Card room with me), lets Reynaldo know that two cloaked people have just taken cards and entered the Tarot Dungeon. This must have happened while I was asleep because I noticed no one. The party panics a little because they're afraid that it's the assassins that they think Conrad's card called. After resting, Reynaldo casts Detect Magic and sees that the walls are magic (most likely because of the soil). He also notices that Ivan's Tarot card is no longer magical. Ivan pulls it out and sees that it is now blank, which means he cannot escape the dungeon the way everyone else can.

They continue exploring. From the room with the Egyptian walls they go down a flong corridor that contains creepy flute music into a room with a fountain in the middle. Ivan tries to drink from the water when a water elemental in the shape of a man steps up. We ask him if we can drink from the water and he motions go ahead. Ivan drinks first and feels slightly better. The others drink as well and they also feel slightly better. They thank the water elemental and proceed into another room that contains a drop in temperature and six giant frogs. The party hacks them to pieces and then goes back to the fountain room because there is no other exit. Ivan jumps in and starts to look for a trap door, but the water elemental steps back up and motions that we are not allowed to do that. I assume that Reynaldo then said, "Fuck you," and the party was forced to fight the creature. Upon its death, the party continued the search and found a door near the center of the fountain. Ivan opened it and all the water drained out. They went down and saw a door. In it, there was a black cube with a poem on it. Ivan immediately recognized one of the stanzas as the one that the Duchess had given him. As a test, Ivan put the Spear next to the cube and it started to vibrate. The sound of the vibrations almost caused some of the party members to fall asleep, but none fell asleep. They continued down the other direction and Ivan noticed that the corridor was sloping downward and towards the end of the corridor, large lizards with large fins on their backs attacked the party. They made short work of them, but unfortunately, Conrad was felled. Svipdag took his card (the upside-down Fool) and Conrad's and ripped them together. They appeared in the Tarot Card room with me and Conrad immediately started to vomit blood. Svipdag carried him to the infirmary, where myself and Isabela followed them.

Meanwhile, the two mystery card drawers caught up to the party and they reveal themselves to be Stepanova and one of her men, Szidobor. She says she was worried about Anna and so came in to help them. They continue until they come to a door. Reynaldo checks for traps, but finds none and so Ivan goes to open the door. He immediately falls asleep. And because his card no longer works, he must sleep in the place where one is not supposed to sleep. Attempts at waking him are no good and the party is forced to lug him around. With the trap now set off, the party continues and sees a large stone statue of a woman. She is wearing priestly robes and is holding a scroll with the Greek word Thom written upside-down on it. There is also a silver crescent at the base semi-wrapped in the stone folds of the stone robes. The party clambers over it and sees three door at the other end. One of them is trapped with nothing behind it, so they leave that one alone. The middle one leads to a short corridor with another door. The last leads into a corridor that contains a small sack hanging from the ceiling. Reynaldo checks it for traps and sees nothing so cuts it down. It opens and reveals three tongues, and coincidentally, three sphinxes scream out and half of the party runs in fear. Anna, Thalia, Stepanova, Wong, and Szidobor fight the sphinxes while the rest of them run away. Everyone clambers over the statue except for Szidibor, who says screw it and rips his card. The sphinxes (one of which is regular and the other two have ram heads) go back into their room.

Nicolae decides to do a bit of reconnaissance after everyone who was feared becomes unfeared. Nicolae closes the door on the sphinx corridor, casts Wraithform, and checks the other door behind the short corridor. He sees a large cavernous room with a a giant zombie standing in the corner with a giant flute. He also says that there is a door down the length of the same wall as the one he came out of. And just for kicks, Nicolae also goes into the sphinx corridor and sees two chests in the room beyond it, but no exit.

Deciding they really have no other recourse (because they can't take on a giant zombie in the condition they're in), they go back to the woman on the stone bier to try and wake her up. Stepanova lays hands on her and she wakes with a start. She starts asking them who they are in German. After a bit of explanation, we find out her name is Kriemhild and she was hunting a unicorn with Igwolf. She was attacked by a boar during this hunt and was knocked unconscious. The party assumes that Igwolf put her here because she had no cure for whatever ails her. Kriemhild goes with the party back to statue where the party starts to come up with a plan to get through the giant zombie room without actually having to fight it, but Kriemhild turns into a boar and the party is forced to beat her down. When she falls unconscious, she reverts to back to human form. We add her to the list of people we have to carry around.

The party decides to rush through the giant's room into the other door, hoping that it is the way out. They concoct a ridiculous plan in which they use the flying potion they got from the pirates. Reynaldo will make an ice dome as four people stick out quarterstaffs, so that they can hold it in place and they can all hide behind it against the wall. Nicolae casts Feather Fall on Kriemhild and Ivan so that others can carry them without them weighing the party down. They kick in the door and the plan is put in motion. Reynaldo also casts Monster Summoning and giant rats attack the giant zombie, but the zombie calls a meteorite down and kills them all. They quickly make their way across (Stepanova sprouted wings while in this room) and enter the room just as the zombie casts a Fireball and melts the ice dome. They close the door behind them and they see a giant ape reading a book in a library, but its hands are backwards. It says in Hindi, "And I was almost done, too," and throws the book behind himself. They hear glass breaking as the ape attacks. Anna flies over him while the rest of the party beats down. She notices that the 'library' is an illusion and she disbelieves it. She sees that the 'book' that the ape threw was actually a glass container with book bugs inside it. She squishes the bugs and saves the few books that do actually exist. The party kills the ape and decides to rest in this room, but not before taking stock of the books in the library, as follows: Against Theocrines by Demosthenes, Agamemnon by Aeschylus, Theogony by Hesiod, Dialogues by Plato, Lyrics by Sappho, On Nature by Heraclitus, Trachiniae by Sophocles, Hellenica by Xenophon, Elegies by Theoginus, Characters by Theophrastus, Batracomyiomachia by Homer, Fables by Aesop, Clouds by Aristophanes, Lyrics by Alcman, Alcestis by Euripides, The Hym to Dioscuri, Cyclops by Euripides, On Nature by Diogenes, Maxims by Pythagoras, Distaff by Erinna, and eight books that look exactly the same. The covers are a pictorial representation of the statue of the priestess. The room also contains three right-handed gloves with the words 'Don me for another draw' on them in Greek. Reynaldo claims one for himself.

The Tarot Dungeon, part III
Sunday, February 12th, 988 AD

After resting, the party magics up and decides its time to kill a giant zombie. They rush out, some in the air, others on the ground to kill the giant. After only a few meteorite smacks, the party kills it. A shout goes out through the air and they loot the body for everything they can take. The head is sawn through and put at the other end of the large room. Feeling mighty, the party goes into the sphinx room and kills all of them as well. They go to the two chests in the back of the room Reynaldo checks them for traps. One of them is super-trapped and we decided to leave it alone. The other chest contains a six-sided box. Each side contains a different thing, making the box quite magical. They number the sides and decide to open them in reverse order. Side Six contains a puppy, bound with a bag over its head. They decide to leave it there until they can ask God about it. Side Five contains a lead case with the words Khlak Ru on the top and the word Eidolon in the bottom, both in Greek. Reynaldo opens it and sees a yellow gem wrapped in green velvet. The gem also has a twelve-legged octopus etched on it. He starts acting a bit squirrely, refusing to give the lead box to Anna. Instead, they decide to put it back in the box until later. Side Four contains three potions, clearly marked Zo-one: Wounds-be-gone, Omniconquest, and Essence of Apollo. They take those. Side Three contains 250 gold pieces and a contract detailing that a sphinx gets 2-4 potions, 250 gold pieces, two criosphinx servants, and a restoration spell in exchange for one tongue and eternal servitude. It's written in Greek and in Egyptian hieroglyphics. They take the money and Reynaldo holds on to the contract. Side two contains three more potions, also clearly marked Zo-one: Live Longer, Wallcrawl, and Essence of the Gigantes. They take those. And the last side, Side One, contains a Black Pudding that jumps out and immediately attacks Jean-Claude. Thalia grabs the magic box with the puppy still inside and Edward is forced to rip up his card, Jean-Claude's card, and Reynaldo's card along with the Fool card that Nicolae received from the Duchess. Edward, Reynaldo, and Jean-Claude's card effects are all undone as they appear in the Tarot Card room, but Reynaldo quickly dons the glove and pulls another card, right after sending a message to Wong telling them he's coming back in, and then giving the message box to Edward.

The rest of this I found out after they had finished with their mission.

Later, I learned it was the right-side up Chariot card. This Chariot card seemed to cure the effect that the yellow gem had had on Reynaldo. He quickly made his way back to the party and tells them when he first laid eyes on the gem, he wanted to get to the ocean as quickly as possible and throw it in, and if any of the party members got in his way, he would have tried to kill them. They all go back to the statue and stare it, until Thalia says they should pull the silver crescent. Reynaldo checks for traps and then, finding none, pulls the crescent with rope because he correctly deduces that the trap door will open in front of the statue. They look down and see a few dogs here and there. Then then two dogs appear up top. Reynaldo closes the door and they fight the dogs, with help from some pig-men that Reynaldo summoned. The dogs are killed, so Reynaldo opens the door again to let a few more of the blink dogs up top. Five more appear and Reynaldo summons giant rats to help the cause. They are all killed. Again, they open the door and Reynaldo summons some lesser demons who help out against the six blink dogs that appear. They are all killed. Stepanova seems really hurt, although she denies it. Anna makes her rip her card up for her own good. Thalia is also beat-up badly, but she takes the Zo-one: Wounds-be-gone potion and feels better, although the rest of the party sees no marked improvement. They descend into the pit after making sure there are no blink dogs left. Once down there, they see one exit. Reynaldo checks for traps and does find one. He opens the door without touching the metal handle and inside the party sees a sheep tied to a large wheel that is slowly, magically spinning. There is more wool at the bottom that the sheep rubs against once a revolution. "That's one hell of a static charge," Reynaldo was reported to have said (by Reynaldo). Thalia set the charge off and rescued the sheep, inteding to take it with her. Then the party started looking for hidden doors. They notice that one section of the ceiling isn't very solid, so they start banging through. Suddenly, a great many kobold skeletons rush in and the party has to kill them all. They go into the room above the blink dog kennel. The ceiling in this room is much lower than it has been in any other room, so much so that half of the party cannot stand up straight. They rightly figure that this is the beginning of the Kobold Dungeon and so go to sleep.

And in case you're not keeping track, the party is at this point composed of Anna, Nicolae, Reynaldo, a hurt Thalia, a very hurt Wong, an unconscious Ivan, an unconscious Kriemhild, and a sheep. Had I been there, I would have bet on the sheep outlasting them all.

The Big Battle
Monday, February 13th, 988 AD

Outside in Novgorod, Captain Arkady, Edward, and Jean-Claude planned on how to get into the cave with all the zombies and giants in the field. They decide on a three-front army: the left to be led by Stepanova and manned by her men and any other non-military persons who want in. The middle is led by Captain Arkady and manned by his Stone Mules, and the right is led by Obid Vladarovich, the son of Wong's friend Vladar Meshikavich in the city, and manned by merchants from all over Novgorod. Captain Gaafa and his troops, along with Edward and Jean-Claude are to stay on the wall and defend the city from any opportunists that try to get in while the Stone Mules are out fighting.

The remainder of the party make their way through the tiny tunnels in the Kobold Dungeon, killing two feral men, and find a very hot room after a branch. They go back to the branch and send Arkady the note that tells him it's time to attack. They take the other branch and and find a skeletal scorpion-man demon. They kill it, but Wong is forced to rip her card and go back to the Tarot Card room. This place leads to a dead-end. Anna decides that it's time for the party to enter the Ethereal plane and walk up next to the polluted pool (they know it's location because of numerous Detect Object spells that were used while traversing the Tarot Dungeon). Once in the Ethereal plane, they see a creature that sees them. The party shifts upwards as fast as possible, beating the creature to the top just barely. They rematerialize and see a few zombies milling about along with a patchwork girl, who all begin attacking. The party dumps all but one vial of Holy Water into the pool, that has a black sword held by a hand in the middle. The sword begins moving towards the edge of the pool while Reynaldo summons giant rats to keep the zombies at bay. A woman steps out of the pool and uses the black sword to gut herself. The pool clears and the zombies inside start to drop. But the patchwork girl has called a friend: a red-scaled sorpion-man demon.

Outside, the three columns in Arkady's plan meet with a field full of zombies and sustain heavy casualties. Gaafa's men keep zombie stragglers away from the gate with arrow fire. The closer the columns get to the cave, the harder it gets, and the more of them die. Obid's entire column is massacred, including Obid himself, along with most of the Stone Mules and the regular townsfolk in Stepanova's column. But then zombies begin to fall one by one, at first, and then in greater numbers. Arkady and nineteen Stone Mules make into the cave along with Stepanova and nine of her men. Arkady starts to hack at the demon, while Stepanova rushes over to help Thalia against the patchwork girl. Reynaldo defends Anna from zombies who haven't fallen yet. Then a big water tentacle comes out of the pool and smacks Nicolae, who then rips his card. It then kills two Stone Mules, and Thalia loses ground against the patchwork girl and rips her card. Arkady complains that he seems to be doing no damage to the demon, so Reynaldo pulls out the black sword and tosses it to Arkady who can now use it to more effect against the demon. The water tentacle slaps Anna off her feet and actually kills her. Reynaldo rips her card, tosses Ivan to a Stone Mule, tells everyone to retreat, and then rips his own card.

Arkady grabs Ivan after making sure that the demon doesn't follow them out of the cave and he and his surviving Stone Mules ride back to Novgorod, taking the black sword with them. Stepanova and her nine men, as well as twenty other townsfolk who survived the massacre outside also rush back to the city.

In the Tarot Card room, Reynaldo thinks of a way to revive Anna. First he pours the Zo-one: Live Longer potion down her throat with no effect. Then Nicolae says, "What was the name of that person we were supposed to call if one of us fell on our way to Kebnegard?"

"Of course!" Reynaldo goes outside and screams, "Hildegund!"

There is a flash of lightning and a crack of thunder and a valkyrie rides down on her winged horse. She looks kind of grubby and her face is smeared with soot.

Hildegund: Who the hell are you?
Reynaldo: Uhh... I'm Reynaldo and--
Hildegund: Why the hell did you call me?
Reynaldo: Well, Agnia told us to call you--
Hildegund: Who the hell is Agnia?
Reynaldo: Uhh... Innocence?
Hildegund: That bitch... Well, what the hell did she get me into this time?
Reynaldo: She told us to call you when one of us fell.
Hildegund: And?

Reynaldo points to Anna.

Hildegund: Oh.

She reaches to the space on top of Anna and pushes down. Anna's eyes flutter and she awakes. Then she becomes an eight-year-old child.

Hildegund: That's never happened before. Oh well, not my problem. Listen pipsqueak, it's been fun and all, but never call me again. I got enough problems saving Innocence every time she decides to steal something.

With another flash of lightning and crack of thunder, the valkyrie disappears into the sky with her winged horse.

Anna: What the f-- I mean, why am I eight years old!?
Reynaldo: Yeah, see, while trying to save your life, I poured that Live Longer potion down your throat. And apparently, 'Live Longer' doesn't mean 'bring back to life', it means 'make younger.' My bad.
Anna: Well, dang it.

End Chapter Ten